Good morning Year 5,

Today’s focus is Writing.

Here is your task for today:

Today you will be writing a balanced argument.

Please watch this video: BBC Bitesize: How to write a balanced argument. 

To begin writing your argument, you will need an opening paragraph (which you can post in the blog today). This needs to introduce the argument in a clear, concise and interesting way.

Make sure you include the following:


This checklist will help you to ensure you have written a successful balanced argument:

This Planning sheet might help you to plan your writing:

For and Against Planning sheet

Use your yellow Home Learning book to plan the paragraphs you will use in your letter.

Please then share your first paragraph with us here!

Today is just a practise where you only need to share the first paragraph by posting it on the blog – you will continue writing your draft at home and tomorrow a new blog will be posted for you to share your finished pieces.
Do not write everything on today’s blog otherwise there will be no point for writing it again for tomorrow’s published writing pieces!
So your complete letter can be drafted in your yellow homework book, and then be published on the class blog tomorrow.

Use your yellow Home Learning book to plan the paragraphs you will use in your letter.
Please then share your first paragraph with us here today!

If you are feeling super confident, you could even write this as a poem!

Miss Coleman & Miss Carruthers will kindly respond to the blogs for today. Thank you both!

Mrs Avdiu

You can find a printable version here: Thursday Writing blog week 5

Erin

Maya B

38 comments on “English – Draft Writing (Thu 21.5.20)

  1. Hello everyone! I hope that you have had a great week so far! Down below you will see my first paragraph…
    Have a look:

    Some people wish to have a lot of money. They want to be rich, rich, and even more rich. Poor people usually want this. They have no money and they are stuck outside in the cold winter and the boiling summer. Many people think that this is what they deserve, maybe they did something wrong and now they are there, on the streets? Hence them being poor. Although some are actually poor, other are only pretending as they want even more money. This is because they are probably money obsessed.
    Therefore, some people would agree that rich people should not give money to poor people. They would say this as they do not want to give money to the wrong people. However, on the other hand, people would want to give money to everyone on the streets. This can be for two reasons. Reason one: they do not know that there are fake poor people out there, or, they are kind-hearted. So that is why many people prefer to give money to trusted charities…

    This was my paragraph.

    Have a great day!
    ~ Nika
    ???

  2. Miss Coleman says:

    Thank you Nika, you make some great points but remember that the first paragraph only introduces the main points. Save the detail for your main paragraphs.

  3. Good morning everyone, I hope that you are all well. I was not sure whether we had to write the whole thing or just the introduction but I have written the introduction. I hope you enjoy:

    In our world there is a large difference between the rich and poor and I would like to share some key points about both sides. I do think that the rich should share their money but if they have worked hard for the money then they should still split it but equally. It is important for everyone to be treated fairly. Here are my arguments about each sides.

  4. Miss Carruthers says:

    Well done Elsa – it was just meant to be your introduction today, so you’ve done the right thing!
    🙂 You’ve written a clear introduction which lays out the argument and what you will be discussing.
    T) Try to make it balanced by giving a point on both sides of the argument.

  5. Miss Coleman says:

    Thank you Nika, you make some great points but remember that the first paragraph only introduces the main points. Save the detail for your main paragraphs.

  6. Violette says:

    Hello everyone,
    I hope your day is great day so far, this is my paragraph:

    Helping people and sharing with others are important.

    If you are rich you should help poor people if you could.
    In fact, poor people are often being watched all day in streets and they do not eat and drink as much as they need. They are often alone, without house which is very sad.
    I have noticed few people want to get rich and not give money to any one, like a baby who doesn’t want to share his toy with his friend. I think it is very selfish.
    If you have everything you wish in your life, you should be able to share a bit.
    In the future, I wish to be rich because I would like to help others by giving some money and to help charity.

    You don’t have to give all of your money. You can do easy things as giving food, water, clothes, toys for kids. For example, in my previous school, we collected warm coats, hats, scarfs, gloves that we did not use anymore and we bring them, with our teacher, to a center where people need it. We did that for Christmas. I was proud to do this.

    As a result, I think that we should give some money to poor. It is important to share.

  7. Miss Coleman says:

    Thank you Violette, you make some great points but remember that the first paragraph only introduces the main points. Save the detail for your main paragraphs. The introduction should summarise what the argument is about.

  8. Gabriella says:

    This is my first paragraph for today.?

    On one hand, if the rich give the poor money they will be able to buy food and shelter. As well as that they will not get sick because they have food, with will put less strain on the NHS especially now. Some people also say that this will give them an opportunity to find work.

  9. Miss Carruthers says:

    Thank you for sharing your first paragraph Gabriella!
    🙂 You’ve clearly got lots of ideas for your balanced argument.
    T) Try and make it really clear that this is your introduction – what will be the topic/question you are discussing in your argument?

  10. Miss Coleman says:

    Thank you Violette, you make some great points but remember that the first paragraph only introduces the main points. Save the detail for your main paragraphs. The introduction should summarise what the argument is about.

  11. Mathilde:) says:

    Hello everyone

    Although some people are pretending to be poor there’s a big amount of actual poor people, some of these poor people are poor because they might have no job or other things, and some poor people became poor by drugs and if some rich people give poor people money they might just spend it on drugs we also can’t tell if they are really poor people so maybe the rich people should spend some money on warm clothes and food. Maybe if everyone does that the people that pretend to be poor might stop pretending and the poor people on drugs can go to hospital.

    I hope everyone has a great day ?

  12. Miss Coleman says:

    Hello Mathilde,
    Thanks for sharing your introduction. Your first sentence is very long. T
    -Could you try inserting some punctuation to spilt it into smaller sentences so it is easier to read please?

  13. Hello Everyone !!
    I hope you are all have a spectacular day !!
    If you can see down bellow that is my first paragraph
    Come on have a look:

    Poor people are normally on the streets waiting and hoping that someone would give them money, everyday they have to deal with people staring at them and making them feel not lucky at all , with is extremely horrible. On the other hand, people can not always be giving money to them because they need to pay for things like bills, work , electricity for the house and lots more!!
    However people are sometimes very greedy and they pretend they are poor so they get money or maybe when they walk by a poor person they say they do not have that much money but they do !! Although poor people have to live without shelter in the freezing cold winters and the boiling hot summers. Some people do not give money to poor people because maybe they did something wrong and they have ended up living on the streets. As for other people they do give money to poor people because they are kind hearted and helping, they might even feel sorry for the people person.

    This was my paragraph
    I hope you enjoyed !!

    ~Elena 🙂

  14. Miss Carruthers says:

    Thank you for sharing your work Elena! You’ve got lots of ideas and points to back up your sides of the argument, but try and leave them for later. You’ll need an introduction which explains the discussion first.

  15. Good morning everyone, I agree with Nika and I have seen people on the streets who are look like they aren’t actually poor or homeless, but since I am writing a balanced argument, I will only put that in my final paragraph tomorrow.
    Here is my introduction…

    Different people think different things, “poor people deserve what they got,” or, “give to the poor and homeless,” but who is right? There are many arguments for and against rich people giving to the poor and in this balanced argument, we will explore both sides of this matter.

    By the way how would you write it as a poem?

  16. Miss Carruthers says:

    A brilliant introduction Zavan, well done for ‘setting the scene’ for your argument. I’m not sure how it would be done as a poem, maybe stick to the argument for now!

  17. Hello everyone? I hope you are all ok this is my first paragraph of my balanced argument:

    On one hand the rich ??? people do already give the poor some money by paying more taxes which is then giving to the poor. But on the other hand most rich?People are greedy and don’t share because they want to keep it for themselves. Although rich may be a bit generous there are still millions of poor starving and thirsty with no home ? to live in. Sometimes it is the poor people that are very nasty to the rich or normal trying to help them. The rich ? and the poor?‍♂️Are similar?and also different?? eso it is hard to blame any one.

  18. Miss Carruthers says:

    Well done Claudia! You’ve thought of lots of ideas, but remember that this is the introduction. Try to use it to explain your argument and then you can go into detail later. Watch out with your typing as sometimes you have a capital letter after an emoji (it might do this automatically!) when it is in the middle of a sentence. 🙂

  19. Hello everyone. This is my balanced argument:

    People ask this question: should rich people help poor people? Some people think that they should help because the poor also need things but sometimes can’t afford to get themselves what they need. Other people think that they shouldn’t help; they think that poor people can manage on their own want to keep their own money.

  20. Miss Carruthers says:

    Well done Ayako! A very strong introduction that sets out what you will be discussing. I look forward to reading your points in the rest of your argument.

  21. ✧Angieli✧ says:

    Hi everyone hope you all had a great morning here is my work. 🙂

    Although people have lost their homes, or maybe pretending to be poor you should not give them money. Firstly they may spend it on drugs or alcohol. Secondly it could lead to consequences like spending the money you gave on useless stuff. Lastly you can just give them a Water bottle, Socks, Hand wipes, food (etc).

    Hope you have enjoyed and have a wonderful rest of the day!!!!

  22. Miss Carruthers says:

    Thank your for sharing your work.
    🙂 You’ve got lots of reasons to back up your argument.
    T) Remember it needs to be a balanced argument. Start with an introduction which introduces what it is that you will be discussing.

  23. .+*Kayla*+. says:

    Hi everyone! I hope you are all keeping safe and healthy! This is my piece of writing for today!??

    Although rich people should give money to poor and homeless people, it’s very hard as some people fake being poor ? But lots of people are actually poor and homeless so it isn’t fair! It is very sad and selfish for (some) people to fake being poor as some people don’t even have ANY money or a home!

    On the other hand, (sometimes) it can be a homeless person’s fault because maybe they already had money but they spent it all on drugs or alcohol. It then leads to even worse stuff like they can’t pay their rent for their house because all their money is now gone!!!

    But I mostly give them a few pennies as I think it might make them feel better! ?

    I think that instead of giving them money, you should buy hot food ??? with the money you have so that you can give the food to them! Then, they won’t spend it on stuff you don’t need! ???

    I hope everyone has an amazing day! ??

  24. Miss Carruthers says:

    Well done for sharing some of your ideas. Remember that today is just for the introduction, so you may want to use these ideas later in your argument instead.

  25. Hello everyone I hope you are all ok this is my first paragraph of my balanced argument:

    On one hand the rich people do already give the poor some money by paying more taxes which is then given to the poor. But on the other hand most rich people are greedy and don’t share because they want to keep it for themselves. If the rich may be a bit more generous there are still millions of poor starving and thirsty with no home to live in. Sometimes it is the poor people that are very nasty to the rich or normal trying to help them. Both rich and poor people are just people and its not right to blame anyone.

  26. Miss Carruthers says:

    Thanks for posting it again – you didn’t have to! Read my comments from the one above and then you can continue your writing in your book. You can then share the final finished version with your class and Mrs Avdiu tomorrow!

  27. Good Afternoon everyone. I hope you are having a great day!

    I do think rich people should help poor people by giving them money. I think this because if poor people do not get any money they will not be able to buy food and therefore will not survive. On the other hand, people may think that rich people have worked hard to earn their money and because of this, shouldn’t give it away. However in my view, it is also a good thing to do because nobody deserves to freeze on the streets, or struggle to buy food.

  28. Miss Carruthers says:

    Hi Theo! Thank you for sharing your writing.
    You have lots of wonderful ideas in here that you have explained, but try to save that for later on in your argument. Your introduction shoudl introduce the topic and then you can go into the points.

  29. Hi everyone.
    Some poor people just have enough to live:food and water but they might not have proper clothing and sometimes they might be cold cold or not be able to give their children an education. Similarity, some poor people don’t have a place to sleep or even money and they just sleep on a bench. On the other hand, some people are selfish;some actually do give money to the poor. Although, it’s good to give some money to the poor some of them waste their money on beer and cigarettes, which are bad;but not all of them do.

  30. Miss Carruthers says:

    Hi Sara!
    Thanks for sharing lots of your ideas, but try to save these for the main part of your writing. The introduction should introduce the argument rather than give points for or against.

  31. Hi Everyone,
    On this planet, there is a big difference on the amount of money between the rich and poor people. Here I will share with you all of my key points; almost all of the rich people have worked really hard to create companies or do their job well. There are some poor people living in the streets because they lost all of their money on gambling, drugs and bets although some don’t have a job or grew up in a poor family and did not have access to education. I am not saying that the rich should give all of their money but they should give a good amount to trusted charities. Here are my points:

    This was my introduction.

  32. Miss Carruthers says:

    A good start Marco! I like how you have started this paragraph with appropriate sentence starters. Try not to give all your points in the first paragraph. Well done!

  33. Happy Birthday Gabriella ! ???

    Hello everyone,
    Here is my English paragraph:

    Britain’s richest one percent own as much as the poorest 55 percent of the population. I would like to share some key points from both sides of an argument which is often discussed around the world about inequality. Do you think rich people should help poor people by giving them money?

  34. Miss Carruthers says:

    Thank you for sharing your writing Regan. It is a very strong opening with a clear introduction and setting out what you will be discussing. I can’t wait to read both points of view in your argument.

    Happy birthday Gabriella!

  35. Miss Carruthers says:

    A good opening Erin. Try to have a little bit more in there as you currently have two questions – which are great to get the reader thinking! Maybe have a sentence saying what you will be discussing in your argument.

  36. ∾Renee∾ says:

    Hello everyone! I hope you have had a great day so far. ?
    This is my introduction paragraph ?:

    Some people in the world are rich but others are very poor. I will be discussing about being poor and being rich. I think it’s better to give the less fortunate food and water rather than money because some cruel people pretend to be poor so they can get more money but others, they’re actually poor. We should all be equally treated kindly, rich or poor, because all of us are human and no one is more special than anyone.

    I hope you enjoyed reading my first paragraph! Stay safe. ?

  37. Miss Carruthers says:

    Thank you for sharing it Renee!
    🙂 A good opening sentence.
    T) Try to save your opinions for later on in your discussion so that you can balance it out with the opposite opinion too. The introduction should be for setting out what you will be discussing.

  38. Miss Coleman says:

    Hi Maya B,
    Thank you for sharing your work, it’s lovely to see you engaging with the Blog and you have great ideas for both points of view.
    T-Read the task set by Mrs Avdiu for today and please think of a way of introducing your balanced argument.

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