English Task
Click HERE for a printable version of this task
Yesterday you began writing your diary entry about Rabbit and Bear and their adventure in Chapter 1 of the story.
Lots of you made a great start writing your first paragraph and I was able to give you some feedback to improve.
Today’s English focus is:
Published Writing
Task
Today is an opportunity to finish off your writing from yesterday (if you haven’t already).
Once you have completed your writing, edit your work.
Proofreading and Editing your writing
1. Read your work and check it makes sense
2. Correct spelling mistakes
3. Correct missing punctuation
Once you have edited your work, write your final draft in your best handwriting with all of the corrections.
Then, write your first name on your work and upload a photo of it. I will add it to the gallery, where I can give you feedback.
I look forward to reading your amazing finished pieces!
Challenge
Read your friends letters and write some feedback about it on the blog!
Hi miss Jones I accidentally put my whole piece of writing on yesterdays blog.
No problem Chloe K, I received your photo upload, but it didn’t come through correctly! Please upload again, well done for yesterday’s piece of writing.
Dear diary,
So as I said the wood peckers tree wasn’t cut buy the big looking monster ” woodpecker?” I asked woodpecker “yes” ” are you going to stay here or not because if you do your tree might be falling at any moment!” ” No no I’m not staying I’m going south for the winter where it’s hot hot hot! Lucky! Lucky! Luck me!” squawked wood pecker. ” we will miss you woodpecker! ” said bear and me as little sad tears started to drop down our faces. We felt sad very very sad. So we said goodbye to woodpecker as he happily flew away south for winter. I have to go now diary bears asking me to come for a sleep over!
From Rabbit xxx
Great effort Clemence! Well done for including lots of detail about how you felt! 🙂
Thursday 4th June Paragraph 1
Dear Diary,
today we went to find my favourite scratching tree the forest. When
we came I found … teeth marks? Rabbit started to get worried. Then
we went to the honey bee tree. I found no honey and no hive. After, Rabbit was like: AAAAAAAAAAAH!!! I decided to stay calm and silent like this: … and then Rabbit fell on the floor shivering in fear. We were going to investigate.
Paragraph 2
We went to Woodpecker’s to ask if he had been taking the trees down. One hill away, Rabbit could see woodpecker’s tree.When we were there, I asked him and he said no. He didn’t take the trees down.He has a beak! Not teeth! As we were going, Rabbit was slow, his legs were wobbling and he was thinking of a big, furious and hungry monster. I didn’t believe him. I was thinking about who
would need wood and how much did they take to build something.
Great work Emily, you have explained what happened clearly and I can definitely tell which character you are!
Miss I have fineshed my writing.
Yes you completed yours yesterday Gabriella, well done 🙂
Hello miss I have checked my work from yesterday
Well done Graceanne 🙂
Hello Miss I have uploaded my homework for today. I hope that you like the pretty paper that I have used.
Brilliant piece Orla, you have published and presented your writing well! You have added in lots of detail about the events that happened. 🙂
hello Miss I have sent you a picture of my diary page
Well done Penelope! I can see you have written your published piece in your best handwriting and corrected it carefully 🙂
Super effort Chloe H, well done for writing very well in the past tense! I love your sentence ‘Oh silly me!’
Great work Helena, your writing made me want to read on and find out about the mystery! It was fun to hear about the family of beavers 🙂
Good effort Louis, I can see you have tried hard with your handwriting! Next time you could think about adding in a little bit more detail, remember to use your lovely descriptive sentences.
Brilliant work Sebastian, your handwriting is so impressive!
Well done for writing a clear diary entry 🙂
Great effort Emi! You have included important events in your diary entry, well done 🙂
Dear diary.
This morning rabbit scream of wake me up in my dark, rocky cave.
“Bear, the trees are beginning to disappear, maybe monster was eating them ?”Nonsense I thought “. I got up from bed and I feelt my back was itching so I ask rabbit if he could scratch my itchy back for me. Rabbit tried but he couldn’t do it because of my long and thick fur. So I decided to scratching my back on my favourite scratching tree. When we went outside I saw that my favourite scratching tree has disappeard. I was shocked and furiest I looked at the sky and I start screaming .”Where is my favourite scratching tree”.
I looked at the place where I got my favorite scratching tree. There was no tree there but a stump with teeth marks. Then I heard the rabbit knee tremble. “What a terrible monster it was,” said the rabbit.
Then I felt like I had forgotten something I said. I forgot to take honey from the honey bee tree for breakfast.
Rabbit asked me: “B.B. Bear W.W. Why are you not worried? ”
“I’m not worried because worrying doesn’t help but breakfast helps. ” I replied.
When we arrived at the honey bee tree, the tree also disappeared and there were the same tooth marks on the stump as on the scratching tree.
Then the rabbit asked me again: “You are worried.” No. I replied. Then the rabbit starts to panic. Oh no, a woodpecker friend lives in a tree. The rabbit was running as fast as he could and I was walking .
When we arrived, the woodpecker was still there. The woodpecker was safe. We were very happy and satisfied. Suddenly there was a loud crunch from a very short distance. “CRUNCH”. The rabbit thought it was the world’s largest rabbit eating the largest carrot to have energy to attack.
from Bear
Great effort Karolina! You have included lots of detail in your writing! Remember to check over your work and correct any mistakes. 🙂
Great diary entry Celestine, I like the humour you have added in to your writing 🙂
Well done Jiana, you have sequenced your writing clearly! 🙂
A good start to your diary entry Eugenia, remember to include the events that happened 🙂
A good effort at continuing your diary entry Eugenia. Remember to write in the past tense as the events have already happened.