Good morning Year 6 and Happy Thursday!
Today’s English focus: Writing (Draft)
Today is for practise. That means that you can write your opening sentence or first few sentences on the blog and then I can give feedback. Then you can finish your writing in your Home Learning Books, making sure you proof read and edit as you go!
Here is your task for today:
Begin Chapter 2 in the style of the author by writing a flashback as if you were the Grandfather.
This would need to introduce where his toy fascination came from.
Here is the chapter you will need to read: Monstrous Devices_ CHAPTER 1
Notice the extract here shows his fascination with toys:
A few he had found himself, in charity shops and online
auctions. Most, though, the oldest and strangest, the most fantastic, had come from his grandfather, his father’s father, who
had started his collection and his fascination.
Please revisit yesterday’s grammar blog to remind yourself of tenses.
The past tense is used for things that have already happened. Past tense verbs often end in –ed but not always.
For example: I walked to the shop.
The present tense is used when something is happening now or when something happens regularly.
For example: I am walking to the shop.
When verbs are written in the past tense they often end in –ed.
If the word already ends in an e then you just need to add a –d.
For example: free = freed, agree = agreed
However, this is not always the rule. Sometimes the word completely changes.
For example: run = ran
Top tip!
Think carefully about how to change the verbs to the past tense. Do you need to add –ed or change the word?
If you need further support or practice, try the Party Time tense sheet
The success criteria may help you.
Success Criteria:
Choosing words that fit the topic, mood and audience
Flashbacks are written in the past tense so you will need to write in the past tense (if you need help with a changing a particular verb or word, ask for help in the comments)
Choosing meaningful vocabulary
Checking spelling using a dictionary
Use figurative language (metaphor and personification)
Your final piece can be published tomorrow. For today, please only share your first paragraph in the comments.
Good luck!
Mrs Avdiu xx
If you send any work using the Homework Uploader, please send it for the attention of Miss Carruthers as she will be the one responding to blogs on Wednesdays and Thursdays. Thank you!
Printer-friendly version: Thursday Writing blog
Ariella’s draft writing
Morning Miss,
I am having trouble understanding the book and are we carrying on chapter two about what Alex does next or are we continuing the prologue?
I think you are carrying on, writing your own chapter 2, having read chapter 1. The Prologue comes first, so if you were to write what happens after that, you would have written chapter 1! Does that make sense?
Ohhh yes now I get it okay thank you
You’re welcome 🙂
I sent my draft in through photos did you get it?
I did! It’s a really great first paragraph! Be careful with your use of apostrophes, try to make it really clear which letters they are in between because some of them look like they are in the wrong place. I really like your final sentence and can imagine him tossing his annoying alarm clock away!
Hello Miss Carruthers,
Here is my first paragraph:
Monstrous devices.
CHAPTER 2
He had been fascinated with robots and toys that could move on their own since he was a very young boy. At this age you still couldn’t be bullied right? Wrong, Tom had been bullied throughout whole life. He was mostly bullied for liking weird things like robots and other things like moving toys. They called him many names but calling him weak would affect him most. It only did because he knew he would never become great at making strong and sustainable robots if he was weak. Tom never had any encouragement from anyone not even from his own mother this made him feel very lonely with nobody to talk to about his problems, he began to hide away from everyone and everything except from his friend robot toby. He would wish overnight the he had a father to help him get stronger and help him create all the robots he could ever want.
A brilliant first paragraph Elly, I like the range of ambitious vocabulary you have used. Try to vary how you start your sentences. Could you use speech or an adverbial phrase so that they don’t all start with ‘He’ or ‘They’?
Ok
I have completed the draft.
If you send in a photo of it, then I can give you some feedback, ready for you to publish it tomorrow 🙂
Hi all ☺ I have really enjoyed reading your first drafts this evening. It is fun to see how everyone’s imaginations are different!