Good morning Year 5!
Today’s English focus: Writing
Here is your task for today:
Persuasive Writing
When writing to persuade, try to convince the reader to agree with your viewpoint.
Persuasive writing in non-fiction can be in the form of a speech, a letter, an advert or even a magazine article. Today you will be writing a letter to the Prime Minister.
There are lots of techniques you can use to make your writing more persuasive.
Please watch this video: BBC Bitesize: How to persuade a reader
Please watch this video: BBC: The impact deforestation has on plants and nature
Persuasive writing should present a viewpoint in a confident and convincing way. It should be:
- passionate and personal
- focused on one side of the argument
Your aim is to persuade the Prime Minister to save our forests.
There are many different techniques that can be used to persuade a reader and you can use a selection of these techniques in your writing.
Please revisit these techniques by clicking on this link: BBC Bitesize: Techniques to persuade
Here, is my example of a persuasive letter: Persuasive letter deforestation
Here are some sentence starters and tips to support your writing: Sentence Starters for Persuasive Writing
Use your yellow Home Learning book to plan the paragraphs you will use in your letter.
Please then share your first paragraph with us here!
Today is just a practise where you only need to share the first paragraph by posting it on the blog – you will continue writing your draft at home and tomorrow a new blog will be posted for you to share your finished pieces.
Do not write everything on today’s blog otherwise there will be no point for writing it again for tomorrow’s published writing pieces!
So your complete letter can be drafted in your yellow homework book, and then be published on the class blog tomorrow.
Use your yellow Home Learning book to plan the paragraphs you will use in your letter.
Please then share your first paragraph with us here today!
Miss Coleman & Miss Carruthers will kindly respond to the blogs for today. Thank you both!
Mrs Avdiu
A printable version of this blog can be found here: Thursday English blog Draft Writing
Dear Miss Coleman I hope you have had a nice morning! I loved doing this task as I am in Green Team and it made me feel I was doing my job! Have a nice day! Jeanne
Good morning everyone, I hope that you are all enjoying yourself. I would like to share my first paragraph with you, I hope you like it:
Dear Prime Minister,
I am writing to you as I am genuinely concerned about our wildlife and nature. Everyday more is getting destroyed by humans who just want the space for houses, offices, and factories. I know that you are the only person who can stop people from doing this. Now you might think why we should stop cutting down the forests, I mean its not hurting anyone, but it actually is. You might not know this, but trees help us to love as we breathe in air and then breathe out Carbon Dioxide which is what the trees take in and turns it into Oxygen. It is also extremely bad for our wildlife as they live up in trees and it is how they get their food so without trees, our animals will die. You are the only person who can stop our wildlife from dying. If you can help our wildlife, our planet will flourish and grow into a beautiful place. This is a very big change for animals and they do not have time to adapt to this and that means that they could have nowhere to lovge for a long amount of time.
Good morning Elsa, I hope you are enjoying yourself too.
Thank you for sending the opening paragraph of your letter. I like that you are thinking about the animals and showing how much you care for the wildlife.
T-This introduction is very detailed. When you write the final version of your letter , try to keep the introduction concise and use the details for your follow up paragraphs.
Hello everyone! I hope that you have had a great day so far. For today’s English task I came up with this paragraph!
Have a look :
Dearest government,
I am writing this letter because I want to help covering the holes that some people made. I am not talking about holes are in the ground but the ones people can make by doing something really wrong, in this case, setting fire to our forests. This is not a funny matter, it is serious. Don’t you understand that it this keeps going on, animals are going to be extinct!? That is not what we want to happen. So please, spread this message around, spread it to anyone, make sure that the whole world knows…
‘STOP SETTING FIRE TO OUR FORESTS!’
…^…^…^…^…^…^…^…^…^…^…^…^…^…^…^…^…^…^…^…^…^…^…^…^…^…
THIS WAS MY PARAGRAPH! I HOPE THAT YOU LIKED IT!
~ Nika ???
Hello Nika, I hope you’re having great day too.
Your letter shows that you are very passionate about this subject but it reads more as a speech rather than a formal letter.
T-Review the features of a letter by looking at the support Mrs Avdiu has provided in the Blog and try writing a short introduction showing the main purpose of your letter.
Good morning Miss Coleman & Miss Carruthers!
This is my first paragraph for my letter! ✍
Dear PM Boris Johnson,
I am writing to you because I am concerned about the forests, because I have noticed that you are cutting down trees to make space for houses. Many people think that this does not effect
them, however 20% of the oxygen we breathe comes from trees so if you keep cutting them down, we will lose oxygen.
Good morning Gabriella,
Thank you for sending the opening paragraph of your letter. I am impressed that you have included a fact but this should be saved for later in the letter to back up a point you will make about the benefits of trees.
T- When you write the final version of your letter , try to keep the introduction concise so it simply explains the main reason you are writing and use the details for your follow up paragraphs.
Hello Everyone !!
I hope you have all had an amazing day and amazing week !!
For today’s English Task I have written a bit of the letter to the Government but I will make it better tomorrow!! ??
Dear Government,
I have heard from lots of people that the builders are cutting down the forest. I do not think this is acceptable because there are animals living their and if you destroy their homes that quickly the animals will not be able to find any other homes. Just like humans need to live we want the animals to live as well. If we tear down their homes they will die and that is heartbreaking.
If you also cut down the trees from the forest us humans will not be able to breath because humans need trees to live, (trees have oxygen). Time is running out we must take action and safe the forest. This is our greatest tragedy, what will happen to the next generation of humans will they also destroy the forest??
Do you really want this to happen to our world ??
I hope you enjoyed ???
~ Elena
Hello Elena, I hope you have an amazing day too.
Thank you for the beginning of your letter. The introduction clearly states the focus of the letter.
T-When you think about ways to improve the final version of your letter please try for a stronger opening sentence. Look at the openings suggested by Mrs Avdiu (and avoid using ‘heard’ as you are writing, not talking. I look forward to seeing the full letter tomorrow.
Hello everyone. I hope you are all well. This is my letter:
12 Green Road
More Trees Village
London
14 May 2020
Dear Her Majesty’s Government,
I am writing to you because I am very concerned about the environmental destruction occurring in the world today. A brave Swedish teenager, Greta Thumberg, has been travelling around the world, fighting against climate change, has inspired many of my generation including me. As the government of the people in my opinion, you have a special responsibility, to future generations. I love the way you used to ride a bike to work. I think you are the right person to help us. I am particularly worried about the rampant cutting down of our trees and forests.
Hello Ayako, I hope you are well too.
Thank you for sending the opening paragraph of your letter. I like the reference to how you have been inspired by Greta Thumberg.
T-This introduction is very detailed. When you write the final version of your letter , try to keep the introduction concise and use the details for your follow up paragraphs.
Hello everyone I hope your all well this is my first paragraph of my letter:
Dear Government,
I hope you are all ok. I am writing to you for I don’t think what we are doing to our forest is a good idea. Without our forest no living thing can survive because trees produce oxygen and we need oxygen to live. Also nearly half of the animals in the world live in trees and imagine, you go to find food and when you come back your home is destroyed by humans. I believe humans are being selfish, the animals need them more than us its there natural habitat. It may seem like there are way to many trees in the world but there are few and we need them. For example the Amazon River Forest is almost destroyed and over millions of animals live there. I hope this letter has helped you change your mind.
Yours Sincerely Claudia
Hello Claudia, I hope you are well too.
Thank you for sending your letter but today was only supposed to be the introduction. I like lots of your ideas and think you have a powerful argument.
T-This introduction is very detailed. When you write the final version of your letter, try to keep the introduction concise and organise your ideas into different paragraphs about the same theme.
I look forward to seeing the final version of your letter tomorrow.
Hi Everyone,
Dear Mr Johnson,
How are you? I am writing to you because I wanted you to know what is happening to our forests right now and people destroying innocent animals habitats which causes them to have to run away or they might die. Trees are also part of our eco-system and help us to breathe because they breathe in carbon dioxide (CO2) and out oxygen(O2) whilst we humans do the opposite. I think that if you agree to stop destroying forests, we could make a big difference and i need you as no-one is ever going to listen to me but your the prime minister and everyone listens to you.
This is my first paragraph and i hope you enjoyed it. Tomorrow, I will put my whole letter.
Hi Marco,
Thank you for sending the opening paragraph of your letter. It’s very nice of you to start with How are you? but this would not usually the start of formal letter. Your next sentence is a more powerful opening line, especially the use of the word innocent.
T-This introduction is very detailed. When you write the final version of your letter , try to keep the introduction concise and use the details for your follow up paragraphs.
Hello Jeanne, I hope you are having a nice day too.
I’m so pleased you enjoyed the task. You, and all the other Green Team members have been so dedicated and this is away of continuing your great work and spreading your important message.
Thank you for sending your letter but today was only supposed to be the introduction. Your opening paragraph is clear and concise-well done.
I look forward to seeing the final version of your letter tomorrow.
Good morning Miss Coleman and Miss Carruthers, here is the introduction and first paragraph of my persuasive letter.
Zavan
12 New Cavendish Street
Westminster, London
W1G 7AR
Palace of Westminster
Westminster, London
SW1A OAA
Dear Boris Johnson and the rest of the conservative party,
I am writing you to express my anxiety about what you are doing to the forests in England. One acre of trees removes around 2360 kg of carbon dioxide from the atmosphere each year and one tree produces 118 kg of oxygen each year too. Unfortunately, they are being cut down for wood and to make space for factories and towns. Will you let this carry on right under your nose?
Firstly, since only 12.9% of the UK is covered in woodland compared to the 38% that most European countries have, we must try to grow more trees. This means that if we want to catch up to them, we will have to plant 60866 square kilometres of trees.
Good afternoon Zavan,
Thank you for sending the opening paragraphs of your letter. I am impressed that you have included some statistics to support your argument but this should be saved for later in the letter to back up a point you will make in your main paragraphs.
T- When you write the final version of your letter , try to keep the introduction concise so it simply explains the main reason you are writing and use the details for your follow up paragraphs.
Hi everyone, hope you all have had a wonderful morning?
Dear PM Boris Jhonson,
Hope your doing well, I am writing to you because I just wanted to let you know, that whatever your doing to the forest isn’t a great idea. The poor animals habitats have been destroyed, so now they are suffering or maybe dying for this cause, so please make these people stop cutting down the trees,besauce by the time all the trees are cut down everyone will not be able to breathe.
Thank you for reading my work. by the way this is only the start of my work/letter so I will make it better?? also stay safe and always wash your hands???
Hi Angelei,
Thank you for your paragraph and the reminder to us all to wash our hands -important advice!
T-When you work on your letter tomorrow be really precise in what you are writing about e.g. ‘whatever your doing to the forest isn’t a great idea.’ Use your research to be specific about what you are unhappy about.
I look forward to seeing your finished letter!
Hello everyone
Dear Prime Minister
I have been witnessing tree after tree being cut down endlessly. Do you have any intentions to make this stop? It would go down in history as the prime minister who saved the trees. You would be respected throughout your whole life .
From Mathilde
I hope everyone has a great day ☺️
Hello Mathilde,
I hope you have a great day too!
Thank you for this clear introduction. Juts try to add a final sentence to explain what the rest of the letter will be abut.
T-When you plan the rest of the letter , try to organise your paragraphs in themes developing your ideas.
Good morning everyone, I hope that you are all enjoying yourself. I would like to share my first paragraph with you, I hope you like it:
Dear Prime Minister,
I am writing to you as I am genuinely concerned about our wildlife and nature. Everyday more is getting destroyed by humans who just want the space for houses, offices, and factories. I know that you are the only person who can stop people from doing this. Now you might think why we should stop cutting down the forests, I mean its not hurting anyone, but it actually is. You might not know this, but trees help us to love as we breathe in air and then breathe out Carbon Dioxide which is what the trees take in and turns it into Oxygen. It is also extremely bad for our wildlife as they live up in trees and it is how they get their food so without trees, our animals will die. You are the only person who can stop our wildlife from dying. If you can help our wildlife, our planet will flourish and grow into a beautiful place. This is a very big change for animals and they do not have time to adapt to this and that means that they could have nowhere to love for a long amount of time.
Hi Elsa, For some reason this has been submitted twice-please see my comments to your original post. Sorry for any confusion!
Hi everyone. 10 Downing Street
London England
Dear Boris Johnson,
I am writing to tell you to stop chopping down our forests and woods. In a couple of years from now all our animals will be dead or dying because of us humans. Squirrels and birds, foxes and badgers, will all be dead, but we can still prevent that from happening and your the only one who can do that for us. If I manage to convince you it will not just make our air cleaner, it will also prevent extinction of many different species of animals. Please listen and remember you’re the only one who can help those animals and our country.
Hi Sara,
Thank you for your introduction.
T-Some great ideas but save some of them for your main paragraphs (see feedback to other children above). Also, remember that you are writing, not talking.
Hello everyone, I hope you all have a nice day so far!
Here is my first paragraph:
Dear Prime Minister,
I am writing to you to convey my concerns regarding the major issue of deforestation.
My name is Lavinia Ayres and I am a ten year old student living in London.
My understanding is that time is running out and we must take action.
Rainforests provide a habitat for millions of species and we are not helping them by demolishing their homes. Why should this even have to happen? To satisfy our selfish ‘needs’? Only ten percent of the world’s forests are protected and together we can do something about it. Is it not shameful that only such a small percentage of such a precious resource should be protected? Why only ten percent?
Animals are suffering and it is all happening under your nose! Don’t you want to do something about it? You could become a role model to other world leaders and show them the right path to take. Nature is crying for help, please answer its call because the world needs you!
Hello Lavinia, I hope you are having a good day too.
Thank you for sending the opening paragraph of your letter. I like that you are very passionate about your campaign.
T-This introduction is very detailed. When you write the final version of your letter , try to keep the introduction concise and use the details for your follow up paragraphs.
Hey everyone! I hope you are all keeping safe and healthy! 😀
Here is my letter:
Dear government,
I hope you are all okay. I am writing to you because we want to save the forests!! Lots of the trees are getting cut down and that means we have less oxygen. Humans are being selfish and are just cutting down trees when those are their homes! If you were an animal how would you feel if somebody just cut down your home without any warning? If we keep destroying the forests, more animals will become extinct and altogether there are only 1,864 pandas left in the wild! We need to stop destroying their homes. 17 percent of our forests have been destroyed and we need to stop!!
I hope you read this letter and stop destroying the rainforests! 😀
Yours sincerely, Kayla 😀
Thank you for reading this and I hope you all have an AMAZING day!!! Bye!!
Hi Kayla,
Thank you for sending your letter but today you should juts share the introduction. It’s very nice of you to start with a caring message but this would not usually the start of formal letter. Your next sentence is a better opening line, as it clearly explains why you are writing.
T-This letter is one long paragraph. When you write the final version of your letter , try to keep the introduction concise and use the details for your follow up paragraphs.
Hello Miss Coleman and Miss Carruthers,
I hope you have a great week so far and a great day!!!!!! ? 🙂
This is my paragraph:
Dear Prime Minister,
I am writing you a letter because I have an important request to ask you.
Can you please stop cutting trees off?
In fact, you may know that by cutting trees, you are destroying nature and lots of animals’ houses. If you cut too much trees off, there will be less oxygen in the world and in England. This lack of oxygen can affect lots of people. Forests that you are cutting down may affect lots of people and animals because its where they can get some food as fruits, walk, make some shelters.
Even, in my school we try to pay attention to earth and then we try to make our daily gestures as green as possible. To do so, we have created a green team and we have some plants on our play ground and in our classes.
It is important to respect nature, without her, humans, animals are nothing.
Please, Prime Minister, I am begging you to pay attention to this request. This matter is for us of course, but it concerns mainly our grandchild’s future.
Hello Violette, I hope you’re having a great day too!
Thank you for sending the opening paragraph of your letter. I love that you have referenced the work we do in school, especially our wonderful Green Team.
T-In English we say that we cut trees down (not off).
T-This introduction is very detailed. When you write the final version of your letter , try to keep the introduction concise and use the details for your follow up paragraphs.
Hi everyone,
Here is my first paragraph:
225 Crawford Hills
Marylebone,
London
W2G 6HE
PM Boris Johnson
10 Downing Street
Westminster, London
Boris Johnson,
Dear PM Boris Johnson,
I am writing to you to express my concerns about deforestation. The impact on animals, humans and indigenous tribes in the Amazons is devastating:
We are destroying plants and animal’s surroundings. Rainforests contain 50 percent of the world’s plants and more than half of the world’s living species. They are one of the richest habitats on Earth. Did you know that rainforests are being destroyed at a speed of 28 hectares (70 acres) a minute? It is us humans damaging our own planet.
Hi Regan,
Thank you for sending your opening paragraphs. Your introduction is very clear and explains the purpose of your letter.
T-Try not to start a paragraph with a pronoun (we) without explaining who we are.
I look forward to reading your final version tomorrow.
Hello everyone. Here is my first paragraph. ?
Dear Government,
I am writing to discuss about our forests.
People are cutting down the trees! If we continue to do this, you are not only destroying our planet, but you are also ruining animal’s homes and we will not have oxygen to breathe in anymore. You must stop this! You must tell those people to stop chopping down trees or it would end up that there would be no more humans in the world, and we do not want that, do we? Chopping town trees would also result to extreme droughts which means there would be more fires, lots more flooding when rain comes, lots of carbon would go into the sea and kill all sea creatures and there would be very hot temperatures. I feel very disappointed because you are not paying attention to what is happening to the forests. No human or animals can survive without trees.
I hope you enjoyed reading my first paragraph. The rest will be posted tomorrow. Have a lovely rest of the day. ?
~Renee??
Hello Renee, I hope you have lovely day too.
Thank you for sending your first paragraph. You make some good points. I think you need to split this into an introduction and then a paragraph about chopping down trees.
T- Develop this sentence into a short introduction explaining why you are writing. What is is about the forests? ‘I am writing to discuss about our forests.’
Hello Everyone,
Here is the first paragraph of my English. I hope that you enjoy it!
Dear Prime Minister,
I am writing to you because I believe that we are not working to our full ability to prevent and stop deforestation. I have four key points that I would like to discuss with you.
The first point that I would like to discuss with you is the impact of deforestation for both humans and animals. Many people think that the impact of deforestation is only affecting wildlife when humans are being affected too. Tribes who live in the rainforest are being affected by deforestation in the same way that animals are; their homes are being taken away and they are forced to adapt to new ways every time trees are being cut down.
Hello Erin,
Thank you, I enjoyed reading your introduction and first paragraph, and I’m pleased you have organised your ideas so clearly.
T-Try to use a varied vocabulary. Could you use a different word instead of repeating ‘affected’?