Good morning Year 5,
Well done for working very hard yesterday to begin your narrative-I really enjoyed reading them!
This is our ‘published writing blog! ’
Once you have edited your writing and you are happy that you cannot improve it further, then it is time to publish it! Type up your writing onto the blog so that other people can read your wonderful writing (make sure that there are no mistakes before submit the comment)
Editing and proof reading is so important…probably even more important as the actual writing! We all make mistakes so we must take time to read through our writing again.
BBC Bitesize: How to proofread
Once you’ve edited your writing yourself, maybe you could read it out loud to someone in your family? When you read your work to someone else, it can help you identify mistakes. You need to sit together so you can both see the writing, you can hold the editing pen and read out your work. Your partner will then check it makes sense, check spelling and give ideas to make it better.
Make sure you read other people’s work on this blog too, it helps us all to get better to borrow ideas for each other! I can’t wait to read all your finished pieces.
I can’t wait to see what you write!
Good luck authors of Year 5!
Mrs Avdiu
Good morning everyone, happy Friday! I hope that you all slept well. Here is my final piece of work:
A long time ago there was a superhero called Cat-Zoom. She had the strengths of a cat and was the fastest person earth, she was faster than a flash of light. She could hear something that was up to 100000 metres away and could see things that were hundreds and hundreds of miles away. She was known throughout the world for her kind deed and brave acts of courage. Her arch nemesis is Bulldog McScar Face who earned his name after Cat-Zoom and Bulldog had an intense battle which ended with Bulldog with a huge scar across his face. They have been fighting for many years and neither of them had won, but that was all about to change…
It was a rainy day and the people of London were indoors. It was late at night when Cat-Zoon sprung out her bedroom window and out into the streets. She could sense trouble. She snuck around London looking for anything bad to happen when she heard something. Bulldog McScar Face. Cat-Zoom ran down the street to a dark ally way and saw the biggest army of dogs she had ever seen. Frightened, she ran back to the house to think of a plan. This was something that she had never dealt with. She knew she would need an army of her own, but where would she find all these cats. After a while, she remembered that she could send a message to all the cats with her Mega-Meow. She sent the signal and in 1 minute she had a whole army of cats. She and her army went to the ally way to find it empty. She stood there in shock, she was sure they were here. Then from behind them she saw a load of dogs run past so she followed them. There was the army. Cat-Zoom and her cats ran towards it and the battle begun.
After many days of war between them Bulldog and Cat-Zoom met in the middle of the battle. They fought and fought until weeks, months, years past and it wasn’t until 4 years later, somebody won. Bulldog was corned and Cat-Zoom was about to destroy him when Bulldog’s army jumped out from behind and pinned Cat-Zoom to the ground. She couldn’t break free, she called for her cats but they were busy dealing with the other dogs. She was stuck, wriggling trying to break free when. GASP! Cat-Zoom’s breath isn’t knocked out of her as she lays there. Silently… Cat-Zoom was a brave warrior and lived a long life. She will be remembered forever.
I hope you liked it. Sorry if the ending is a bit dramatic but I feel like the good guys always win and I decided for my story to end with the bad guys winning. Bye everyone have a nice day! ?
Don’t apologise for a dramatic ending! It is great and shows how creative you are. Well done!
This is very well written and I found the last phrase ‘ She will be remembered forever’ very effective. Great job!
Strong, the super hero flies in the dark, bleu night. Looking to see if any thing was going wrong. He had already saved ten times the day; one were the villains took the queen’s crown, another one when they tried to take over the world.
The night past fast, so fast! And nothing happened…
But suddenly we could hear a scream of a hearten person.
The person laying down on the dusty street floor looked horribly hearten. The street became all red because of the bleeding nose. Police came with wonder of what could have happen. They were absolutely horrified by this terrible scene.
Suspense!!!
I love the beginning of your writing Violette!
Please check spellings for : bleu, were.
I think you meant ‘hurting’ instead of hearten?
Great effort Violette! It does sound like a terrible scene.
Hello ?everyone i hope you are all having a nice day this is my blog for today.
Blazer Bulldog
Blazer Bulldog is a very well known superhero. He has the power to smell from about 10,000 miles, he has a lot of strength and he can see in the dark quite well. Besides that he is a clever superhero but he sure does make a lot of arch enemies, the worst is Cat Eyelash. There last battle Cat Eyelash got away and ever since then Harvey Blazer Bulldogs real name has a fear she will come back. To be honest Blazer Bulldog is a nice person really but in battles he can be scary himself. Its just he has always wanted to help people since his pet Blue the bulldog ran away.
One Christmas night When Harvey was having lunch there was a meow and more, but they sounded different each time. His lunch was trembling. Blazer Bulldog was praying it wasn’t who he knew it was. Cat Eyelash had brought an army with her to finally destroy the nation of dogs everywhere. They where getting closer, Blazer Bulldog turned the light of so harder for the cats to see. Then he did like maze with metal vey narrow metal was there weakness they came through but most stayed behind because the got hurt by the metal. Unfortunately they new Bulldogs weakness to he was in trouble. They started to surround him the only way to be safe was climb very tall ladder Cat Eyelash said go on don’t be scared and then Blazer Bulldog did the bravest thing. When he got to the top he did a very quick clever net with metal to trap the cats inside he did and they could not escape but there was still Cat Eyelash left. They fought but eventually there was a hole big enough for Blazer Bulldog He went out the cats were trapped in his house never to be seen again. Harvey was glad they were finally safe from her but did the cats ever escape still remains a mystery.
( o=^•ェ•)o
Wow! I really enjoyed reading this Claudia. Thank you. I think it’s worth revising ‘there, their’ because you are still mixing these up. It’s okay! This might help: https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/topics/zqhpk2p/articles/z3cxrwx
Hi Mrs Avdui,
This is my work for today, I hope you like it!!!!!?
The Tales of Corduroy and Mr Blimp
Deep in the forest in Canada, there is a beautiful and sparkling river called the Oxtongue River. On the edge of this river was a turtle named Corduroy. Corduroy was a brave and kind turtle. He was not just any turtle, he had superpowers and could run as fast as the wind! His best friend was Mr Blimp. Mr Blimp was just an ordinary snail and was not as brave as Corduroy. On normal days, they would play in the magnificently blue water, but today they were chasing the worst criminal of all, The Destroyer.
At this precise moment, Corduroy was running on the river bank with Mr Blimp on his back. The Destroyer was an evil ant and his superpower was his strength and he could snap a tree in seconds.
Corduroy had nearly caught him. He just had to run a bit faster. When all at once …CRASH! The destroyer had pushed a tree to the ground and had escaped, again. As they looked around and saw they were on a wooden dock where they could see Mosquito Island in the distance.
As Corduroy and Mr Blimp turned around to go, The Destroyer appeared out of nowhere and said in a cold voice, “I’ve decided I want to finish you once and for all Corduroy.”
They immediately started to circle each other slowly. Then POW, POW, POW, The Destroyer tried to punch the friends. But Corduroy was too fast.
“You’ll never get me!”, taunted Corduroy.
When unexpectedly, BAM! The Destroyer had pounced on Corduroy and was about to strike. All hope seemed lost when suddenly Mr Blimp rose into the air. It seemed that Mr Blimp had a superpower too! Shocked, but excited, Mr Blimp knew what to do. He lifted The Destroyer with his sticky slime and threw him on to Mosquito Island to be eaten by the mosquitos!! That was the last they ever saw of The Destroyer. The two friends, played carefree in the river for years afterwards.
Thank you for your great story 🙂 Gabi, perhaps next time you could try to include more complex sentences. Some of them are quite short and short sentences are okay as long as they are not repeated too often! Well done – I really enjoy reading your writing. Have a lovely weekend 🙂
Hello ?everyone i hope you are all having a nice day this is my blog for today.
Blazer Bulldog
Blazer Bulldog is a very well known superhero. He has the power to smell from about 10,000 miles, he has a lot of strength and he can see in the dark quite well. Besides that he is a clever superhero but he sure does make a lot of arch enemies the worst is Cat Eyelash. There last battle Cat Eyelash got away and ever since then Harvey Blazer Bulldogs real name has a fear she will come back. To be honest Blazer Bulldog is a nice person really but in battles he can be scary himself. Its just he has always wanted to help people since his pet Blue the bulldog ran away.
One Christmas night When Harvey was having lunch there was a meow and more but they sounded different each time. His lunch was trembling Blazer Bulldog was praying it wasn’t who he knew it was. Cat Eyelash had brought an army with her to finally destroy the nation of dogs everywhere. They where getting closer they had to do this Blazer Bulldog turned the light of so harder for the cats to see. Then he did like maze with metal vey narrow metal was there weakness they came through but most stayed behind because the got hurt by the metal. Unfortunately they new Bulldogs weakness to he was in trouble. They started to surround him the only way to be safe was climb very tall ladder Cat Eyelash said go on don’t be scared and then Blazer Bulldog did the bravest thing. When he got to the top he did a very quick clever net with metal to trap the cats inside he did and they could not escape but there was still Cat Eyelash left. They fought but eventually there was a hole big enough for Blazer Bulldog He went out the cats were trapped in his house never to be seen again. Harvey was glad they were finally safe from her but did the cats ever escape still remains a mystery.
( o=^•ェ•)o
Well done Claudia for this extended piece of writing. Blazer Bulldog is such a cool name for a superhero!
Please check spelling for ‘there’ in the sentence ‘there last battle’ – it may be worth revising ‘their, there, they’re’ so that you don’t keep repeating the same mistake each week 🙂
Please could you proof read your writing and check the punctuation as it makes it hard to understand some parts. For example ‘ His lunch was trembling Blazer Bulldog was praying it wasn’t who he knew it was’ – the missing punctuation here makes it very hard to understand waht you mean in this sentence.
I hope that feedback is useful. I really like your ending and how you have left the reader wondering!
Good Morning Everyone !!
I hope you are all having the happiest Friday ever :)!!!!
This is my published piece:
A long time ago, lived a outstanding superhero called Flying Falcon. Flying Falcon had many many superpower but her favourites was that she could fly in the sky and save people, she could also fly really fast in the sky even faster than an airplane. Everyone knew her and everyone wanted to be like her. Little children used to always dress up like her and they also used to pretend that they could fly.
Flying Falcon adored everyone but her number 1 enemy was Captain Tarantula. This was because Captain Tarantula always used to stop her from doing what is right, he was also extremely annoying. With his spider powers he would string people into his huge spider web. This would mean that Flying Falcon had to save them but it meant that she had less time to focus on the real mission.
At 3am, the bad guy alarm started beeping, this meant that a bad guy was near….. she went outside and the bad guy jumped on her. Flying Falcon fell on the floor with a THUMP, she was hurt pretty bad….. and the bad guy was getting away, then Flying Falcon remembered that she had flying powers, she also remembered the time that her mother said that it does not matter if you have superpowers or not, the real power is the heart so she flew with all the confidence she had and caught the bad guy with the magic rope.
I hope you all enjoyed my published piece!!!
Have an amazing day 🙂
Hi Elena! I am having a great Friday thank you 🙂
Corrections: ‘an’ outstanding superhero, not ‘a’
‘many many superpowers’ not ‘many many superpower’
Proofreading will ensure that these small errors are not included in your published work 🙂
I really like your writing Elena and you are very creative. SUPER effort in varying your punctuation but check the commas in the last paragraph especially. Well done!
Lightning Man was a powerful superhero. He was known throughout the land for his brave deeds and powerful super power. He haD saved the Earth on numerous occasions but there was always one villain that he was never able to destroy: DarkLord Crusher. They were enemies for many years and despite Lightning Man being able to shoot lightning bolts, every time he did so, DarkLord Crusher blocked them by shooting out a strong wall from his fingertips. However, little did DarkLord Crusher know that this time, Lightning Man had a cunning plan but it required perfect timing and perfect accuracy.
One night, Lightning Man crept out of his house and headed towards DarkLord Crusher’s lair. He was muttering to himself and his brow was furrowed like he was concentrating very hard. After walking for one hour, he arrived at DarkLord Crusher’s lair. He took one deep breath and then, without a backwards glance, strode inside.
The cave was a gloomy, unsettling place. It was so dark that you couldn’t see ten paces in front of you. Stalagmites were hanging from the ceiling, looking like they could fall at any minute. DarkLord Crusher was close now, Lightning Man could sense it. As he rounded the corner, he saw him. Lying on the ground and sleeping right in front of him was the super villain.
DarkLord Crusher was taking great rasping breaths that shook his whole body. Wanting to end it there and then, Lightning Man summoned his greatest lightning bolt and threw it at Darklord Crusher with all the power he could muster.
It was a terrible sight. Blood poured out of the once powerful super villain’s body to create a red, gushing river on the ground. Lightning Man felt triumphant – and relieved.
“I’ve done it!”, he cried and this time he really had.
Wow! I have to say I was very moved by the way you ended your writing. Well done Theo for trying so hard to ensure your vocabulary has an effect on the reader.
To improve your writing, try to start sentences in varied ways instead of ‘He’, ‘The’. Perhaps you could start with an adverbial phrase like we did in class?
Hello everyone,
I hope you are having an AMAZING Friday ( YYAAAYY IT’S FRIDAY!! )
This is my story:
Hero
All of my family are superheroes, I mean, everyone except me and my Twin Brother. I don’t think anyone has even noticed us before. They were all too bothered in their own lives to care much about our fantastic adventures, until one day…
Walking home from school, I noticed a large gaping hole, on the brick wall near the hollow tree we used to climb back in the good old days. But what intrigued me was that the hole wasn’t any ordinary shape, it was sort of, a symbol? I then nudged Twin Brother to observe the hole. Despite his normal face expression, I could make out a sense of despair. Then I remembered why. It was the Dark Mark, a sign the Black Army made whenever they had killed…
Me and Twin Brother approached the hole with caution. Was it possible that the Black Army was around? I could definitely smell a faint scent of dried blood nearby and I walked towards the hole wearily. I could tell I was being possessed. I could tell I was changing, I could tell that something was wrong deep down, that I was being possessed by evil. I tried to fight it but no strength came out of me…
Then all of a sudden I felt a jerk on my skull and I remembered that I was good and that the forces were evil. My brother had saved me from being captured into the Black Army. I could now see my brother violently struggling against the warriors, about 10 of them and all, and I felt a sudden urge to destroy them. Because I cared. Because I loved. Because my Twin Brother was the best thing that ever happened to me. And I plunged my sharpened stick into the ghastly bodies of the Black Army soldiers.
You might think that superheroes always have special powers like immortality But love and care are powers too.
I hope you all have a great weekend!✨
Sebastiao
YAAY! Happy Friday!
Wow, Seb. I have to say you got my attention from the very first line! I had so many questions just from reading the first paragraph and could not wait to read on. This is a great piece of writing, well done!
To make your writing even better, try to start some sentences with adverbial phrases or in different ways other than ‘Then’ or ‘I’.
Hello everyone I hope that you are all safe and well!
I did today’s task with Wanda and we had a lot of fun writing about this superhero!
A long time ago, when everything was dark, a young boy named Sam Parker walked the Earth.
Sam Parker, also known as Ice Boy, had curly almond brow hair that danced gently in the air. His calm calm green eyes reflected his bright personality. He also had a brother, who too, was a superhero; Peter Parker also know as Spider-Man. But let’s get back to Ice Boy!
Sam got his powers when he was in Antarctica researching about penguins and Elephant Seals. He fell on his back and got some snow in his throat. The second after, he somehow managed not to feel cold anymore! He could actually sit in the snow in shorts and he would not feel bitter cold!
Sam did not only have that power, he also had the ability to speak to all animals in Antarctica. He got that superpower when a penguin surprisingly spoke to him when he was getting up after he fell on the ground.
Ice Boy saves people if it has anything to do with ice and water; so if you have a problem with those things, you know who to call…
Have a great day everyone!
– Nika and Wanda
Hi Nika and Wanda! I am so pleased you worked on this together. Well done girls.
I am super impressed that you have included clauses and I am blown away by your creative ideas for the story line.
To make this even better, try to focus on story language because some of your story reads like list and sort of lists everything about the superhero as if the story was summarised.
Hello everyone
Earth star is a superhero who found out she had superpowers when she turned sixteen. She is the goddess of earth and her real name is Terra. Her mom is Mother Nature and her dad is a retired superhero called Universe Dude, she also has two younger sisters called Luna and Sunny.
They all Live together in a normal house on earth. They never have shown their true identity. Except once… When Metal Man came to earth. He is a supervillain that they had been fighting in space for years and years, and keeping him away from Earth, but this time, he sneaked past them…
It was a warm night and the people of New York were all asleep in their cozy beds. All except one girl. Terra could not sleep, something didn’t feel right or maybe it was just her imagination. BAM BAM! ” What was that!” Terra said, as she jumped out of her bed! As she frantically flew out the window, she could hear her neighbour’s screams, “HELP Aaaaaaa!” She couldn’t believe her eyes Metal man was here!
He was too big to fight; she needed help! When he was about to make his final move on her, her family showed up! Terra had a great idea she teleported to the ocean and got a big bucket of salt water and poured it on him. In seconds he was all rusty and he couldn’t move! With help from her family and a bucket of water she defeated her mortal enemy!
I hope everyone has a great day ☺️???
Hi Mathilde! Sorry, I missed this comment somehow! I love the name Earth Star! You have described her well. Just remember that this is a narrative (a story) and so it should not read like a list of character features. I can see you summarised your story at the start? I love the beginning with the phrase ‘ the people of New York were all asleep in their cozy beds’. I think the ending was a little abrupt though! Have a read at some of the other comments and see how we can create more suspense…
Hi everyone I hope you’re all doing well! This is my English for today.
There he was, standing on the roof top, looking at Team Rocket, watching every single little step they make. Owl Man was getting ready to swoop in and destroy the ultimate weapon; ‘Scanner 3000’! Suddenly, Team Rockets boss (Giovanni) activates the ultimate weapon and coincidentally it aims at Owl Man!
When Owl Man wakes up he’s in a secret volcano next to a donut shop. It was A.O ( Association Owl) a secret organisation that was run by Owl Man. Owl Man was wondering if he had succeeded the mission but apparently now the whole world knew his true identity!
~Iggy
Well done Iggy. You really grabbed my attention with that opening paragraph! Is this your final story or just a section of it?
Hi Everyone,
This is my story:
This teenager here is just an ordinary boy, or is he? He is known as GAMER BOY. He is known for fighting crime and villains, as he is a superhero. He always needs to try his best to keep GAMER BOY’s identity secret. He is now 16 years old. His powers are:
Telekinesis
super strength
super speed
flying powers
Ice
fire
water
He finds all of his powers very useful because with all of these powers, he can defeat any villain but there is only one who he can’t defeat and that will be his challenge shortly.
A week later, Dark Clouds towered over the region of Liguria and lombardi, this meant that Time changer’s ( the villain ) arrival was near. GAMER BOY now had to be prepared for the worst and do his best to defeat Time Changer. Now was the time to go and find where he is and get prepared. He now had to go onto his roof to see if Time Changer was there.
As he peeked out of the roof window, the coast was clear. He suddenly saw a shadow rise behind him so he turned around… the coast wasn’t clear.
Time Changer was now holding his two arms tight as if he were being hand-cuffed. The Battle had begun. GAMER BOY managed to break free by using his fire powers, but it was all very simple for time changer because he just had to back in time and GAMER BOY would be trapped again. GAMER BOY had just one chance of defeating him, freezing his time machine which was on his chest and under his cape. His super speed helped because his whole body was fast. He had now set his hands on super speed and he would be ready. He now did a backflip and whilst he was upside down, he quickly froze then smashed his machine, Time Changer was now useless without his machine and his name didn’t make sense anymore.
He now had to surrender and GAMER BOY would win! A few days later, Time Changer would have to go to court and the judge would decide how long he would stay in prison.
This was my story, I hope you liked it!
Hi Marco, this is a very creative storyline – well done! I can see you have included similes and some variety of sentence starters. Just take care not to rush the details because you need to create some suspense for the reader rather than rush the climax of the story. The sentence ‘The Battle had begun’ is very effective but then in the next sentence he had already ‘managed to break free’! I hope that helps 🙂
Hello everyone!
Here is my story.
———————————————————————————————
A long time ago, there was a superhero called Skye Nightfire. She had the powers to move things with her mind and could run super fast. One night she was on the balcony of her little flat and was scanning the neighbourhood for sighs of trouble, where she could be of help. She glanced at the corner of the street and found something suspicious lurking behind the dumpster.
Skye decided to investigate what was going on outside. She put her camouflage coat on and comfortable running shoes. She took her torch just in case as she might need it. Walking down the deserted pavement she could sense someone following her, more like a shadow rather than a real person.
All of a sudden, a tall figure ran across the street carrying a big sack. Skye’s first reaction was to follow him. She felt like something was out of the ordinary. While following him, Skye could hear muffled crying noises coming from the sack. She now knew that a baby was kidnapped and was in a grave danger.
Skye had to act fast. With her super sonic speed and agility she tripped the man up and gently caught the sack. Using her mind powers, she pinned him to the ground with no possible way to escape. When the passers-by notice the commotion, they alerted the police. They where all taken to the police station. The man was questioned, the baby was returned to her family and Skye was announced a hero.
———————————————————————————————
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend! ☀️
Maia???
I love the phrase ‘ scanning the neighbourhood’ – your writing is really improving Maia 🙂
I also love the phrase ‘With her super sonic speed and agility…’
Perhaps next time try to include some adverbial phrases as sentence openers 🙂 Have a lovely weekend!
Hi everyone.
As The Makeo stood on top of the building her leaf- green eyes gazed into the midnight- sky. The wind whistled and whipped her jet black with neon green stripes in, she stood proudly admiring herself, in a window of a building opposite her. The Makeo, or as I know her Jeanette Cole, was brave and determined and extremely smart, she could answer the trickiest maths question in her headin 5 seconds.
She pounced onto the windowsill, thought of some sticky gloves and boots, and she climbed up the building. Once, she had reached the top she stared down checking for anything or anyone, who was trying to destroy the town. Just as she was about to go home, she caught site of a metal flying saucer. It was aliens. They had come to conquer earth. The Makeo thought of a hoverboard and it appeared. She jumped onto it and she flew like lightning towards it.
As she got closer she became more curious and sleepy, her eyelids started dropping and her arms and legs were aching badly. When she was about a 30 second fly between these funny specimen, she fell off her hoverboard and into a massive pit of doom. The aliens looked down and into the pit and then gave each other fist-bumps and high-fives. Her pet The Spikxzer (Flame) sat on her face and whipped his tale left and right but it didn’t work and even if she did wake up she probably wouldn’t be able to walk any more. As it went deeper into the night The Makeo showed more signs of life. In 5 days The Makeo and the aliens were very good friends and the aliens were good and The Makeo was in no pain.
Hi Sara. This is great and I really enjoyed reading it. I love the phrase ‘The wind whistled and whipped her jet black (hair?)’ – the alliteration is brilliant. I am really impressed! You have even included clauses. Perhaps next time try to include a wider variety of punctuation,although you have already begun to do this! Have a lovely weekend Sara.
Hi everyone,hope you all had an amazing week here is my published writing?
Dark Fire?/ Wendy:
Dark Fire is a very special woman. She is a regular human but not that normal. Well you see she was living in a rich family (not those type of people that are really mean) Wendy is a really nice girl but gets really aggressive when people stars annoying her so you don’t want to mess with her.
Wendy is a really independent woman who is strong, pretty, smart, warm-hearted.(etc). At Saturday morning a strange noise had woke her up. A noise to a person, a person screaming so she went outside and had never seen this thing before…..
Soon after it came closer to her, and Wendy had been kidnapped by the JOKER!! Wendy had thought this was all a dream so she tried to wake herself up but nothing had seemed to worked. Meanwhile she had decided to use her powers and defeat him once and for all….
After the fight everyone had crowded around her cheering for her,
and that it a short story of Dark Fire?!!!
hope you have enjoyed reading my work stay safe and have a lovely weekend???
Thank you Angieli! This is a good story line but it seems a little rushed and more like a summary than a whole story? Is this your first draft? Thanks for sharing and have a lovely weekend 🙂
Hi everyone, this is my complete story.
As Morph gazed down on to the city below, the wind whistling through his jet black hair, he wondered about what The Ancient One had said when he had asked about there being any more Villains. The One had told him that a dark power was arising from the earth, but he would say no more and Morph was hugely distressed about this. Even though, he’d been told that it wouldn’t be difficult for him, something in the back of his mind was telling him that this would be his hardest mission yet…
Thomas Suzuki was an ordinary 13 year old, except that he wasn’t. He could turn one object in to another and move them around with his mind when he wanted to. He was a superhero. When Thomas was seven, he had been walking home from school when he had tripped up and fallen into a hollow tree. Inside, a man with wings was sitting on a block of wood, holding a caterpillar. He told Thomas that when the caterpillar died, he would die too and handed the caterpillar to Thomas to look at. At that instant it fell limp in his hands and Thomas felt a tingling sensation inside him. From that day on, Thomas called himself Morph and fought Villains from every corner of the Earth. Yesterday however, had been different.
A few days later, Morph was at the park when he noticed that it was strangely empty. He looked around for anything that might explain this sudden disappearance when he remembered what else The One had said. “Nobody will be able to resist the power of The Vanquisher, not even you Morph, but you can learn how to, and if you trust yourself truly, then the Vanquisher cannot lay a single finger on your mind,” and realised that the people’s minds had been taken over by the Vanquisher. After a few moments of thinking, he decided to try to track The Vanquisher’s ten servants, the Darkines, down first, in the hope that they would lead him to their master’s base.
After many days of searching, Morph finally found what he was looking for, a tenebrotiser, an object made of pure Darkness which would reveal all recent Dark activity in the world. Using it, Morph saw clusters of Darkness near San Francisco, USA and readied his plane for take off.
Hours later, he landed on San Francisco Bay and drove towards the shore, checking to see if anyone was following him but no one was; there was no sign of life anywhere. When he got to the shore, he jumped out of the plane and raced towards the Golden Gate Park. The moment he stepped inside the park, he sensed danger, the Darkness was everywhere and unexpectedly the ground opened up and swallowed him…
Morph woke up in a vast chamber the size of an Olympic swimming pool and swarming around him like ants, were hundreds of people with dull, glazed expressions on their faces. He got up and started to walk towards a large passage on his right. A faint light was glowing from it and it seemed to draw him to it with an unknown power.
There, a man cloaked in Darkness was sitting at a desk the colour of ebony and a crystal ball, from which the dim light shone, was placed on a stand on the desk. In a deep voice, the man asked Morph who he was and Morph found himself uncontrollably telling the man that he was his servant and would always obey him. The man replied, asking him this time what he was doing and again, Morph found himself uncontrollably telling the man that he had come to tell him that an enemy called Morph was planning to defeat him. Remembering the words of The One, the next time the man asked a question, Morph tried not to answer but all that came out was “np Y cnkt tlhl ygo.” He had doubted himself. Finally, on the fourth time, Morph knew that to truly trust himself, he would have to pour his mind and soul into every word and screamed, “my name is Morph and I have come to defeat you!! The Vanquisher will fall!!“ and with that he smashed the crystal ball and the final battle began.
As the two beings circled each other, one changing and moving objects, the other destroying them and telepathizing to his army and Morph. “You will never get me, little boy, I am far greater than you” but Morph knew better than to listen to the Vanquisher and kept trusting himself with every move that he made. After what seemed like ages of fighting, Morph collapsed from exhaustion and The Vanquisher’s voice echoed through his mind. “See, I told you puny child, I have defeated you in the end,” and he placed his black boot onto Morph’s chest ready to end it but Morph was still alive and with the last ounce of his strength, he blasted The Vanquisher into oblivion and he was never seen or heard of again.
Many years later, even after The Vanquisher had fallen, some people still heard a voice in their heads, “I will avenge myself, Morph, someday, I will come back like I did before…”
I hope you liked my story, have a great day! See you on Wednesday’s Zoom call ?
Thank you Zavan! This is great! The ending really blew me away – so effective. I love the range of punctuation, sentence starters and style of language. Year 5’s Zoom calls are on Fridays. I look forward to seeing you then too!