This week we read an extract from the text ‘Bear and Rabbit.’ We recapped on grammar skills and looked at using the articles a, an and the correctly. Today you will have the opportunity to apply these skills to your writing.
Today’s English focus is:
Writing
Today is an opportunity to write and share your first paragraph of writing. Write your first paragraph in your yellow book and then type this up on the blog. I will give you feedback on your writing so far.
You can continue your writing in your yellow books. Once you have finished, read over and edit your work.
Tomorrow, a new blog will be posted for you to share your finished pieces. You may like to write this in your best handwriting with all of the corrections.
You can send a photo tomorrow of your finished writing pieces and I will add them to the gallery in tomorrow’s writing blog.
You may like to read over Chapter 1 again here to remind yourself of the events that happened.
Top Tips Start with the date and Dear Diary Write in first person: I, we Write in the past tense (events have already happened) Use description: Describe the forest. What were the tooth marks on the tree stump like? Remember to use your senses to help describe things around you. Describe your feelings.
Example
Thursday 4th June 2020 Dear Diary,
What a day! My worries were definitely sky high today! I do wish I could be more like bear; he doesn’t seem to worry about anything!
Anyway, I woke up with a big question on my mind and couldn’t wait any longer to wake up bear to ask him. I burst into the cave and found him snoring away between two big rocks. I started asking him my question about trees and all I could hear was bear moaning about yet another big itch on his back!
Now it’s your turn!
You might like to plan your writing first by jotting down some ideas.
Remember to look at the top tips to make sure you include important features in your writing. I look forward to reading your first paragraph today and all of your writing tomorrow.
Hello Miss Jones, this is my entry:
5th June 2007
Dear Diary,
Yesterday was super scary because I thought there was a monster eating the trees!!! Early in the morning I went out and recognised that there were no trees, they have disappeared. I was frightened and shocked and ran to tell Bear but he was calm.
I was worried all day but Woodpecker’s tree was still there which was a relief. In the end I was worried my ears would fall of.
A good start Matthias, remember to write in the past tense throughout your diary entry. As you continue, you could write about how you found out about the mystery of the tree stumps.
Thursday 4th June
Dear Diary,
today we went to find my favourite scratching tree in the forest. When we came I found … teeth marks? Rabbit started to get worried. Then we went to the honey bee tree. I found no honey and no hive. After, Rabbit was like AAAAAAAAAAAH!!! I decided to stay
calm and silent like this: … and then Rabbit fell on the floor shivering
with fear. We were going to investigate.
Well done Emily! A good start, remember to read over and check your punctuation. As you continue you can build suspense by showing how you and rabbit followed the clues to work out the mystery.
Today me and bear woke up and we went outside to get some breakfast but we when outside and all the trees are gone. I was a little scared we stopped in front of bear’s favourite scratching tree and I got so afraid because bears scratching tree as been bitten . I shouted but I said Why are you not worrying and bear said because worrying doesn’t fix anything . We continue walking to get to the honey tree ones we got there it was gone I was shaking because I said there was a monster bear said there is no such thing as a monster we saw a woodpecker I said hello. The woodpecker said I am packing to go to south to celebrate and to have fun but my brown eyes saw something. It looked like a monster eating all the trees crunch crunch.
to be continue…
Well done Graceanne, a good start! You have included some nice details about how you felt. When you publish your work tomorrow, remember to read over it and edit your punctuation and check you have written in the past tense throughout.
4th June 2020
Dear Diary,
Something astounding happened today but let me start from the morning. I was sleeping peacefully in my cave and out of the blue Rabbit ran in, woke me up and started talking some stupid gibberish about trees flying south for the winter. I told Rabbit that birds fly south for the winter not trees!! I asked him to scratch my back, but he could not reach my itch, so I went out to scratch my back on my favourite scratching tree, but the tree was gone.
Well done Orla, a good start! As you continue your writing, you may like to build suspense by writing about the clues you discovered to work out the mystery of the vanishing tree.
Thursday 4th June 2020
Dear diary,
Today I woke up terrified when I saw that outside, nearly all the trees were gone. So I ran to bear’s cave and I said : “Bear, where do trees go during winter ?”. Bear wouldn’t listen, he just kept on moning about yet another itch on his back. When we went outside, we discovered stumps covered with tooth marks on the trees but bear wasn’t worrying at all so I asked : “WHY AREN’T YOU WORRYING ?!”. But bear just said : ” worrying doesn’t fix things but breakfast does”. And so we were off to find the honey tree . But the honey tree was gone ! I was so terrified !!!!!!
Today I ran into bears cave in the forest to tell him I heard something but he was snoring away, I had to wait a long time for him to finally wake up!
Then he woke up because the noises were still going on. Then bear had an itch and I tried to reach it but his fur was in the way and it was hard to scratch it.
Dear diary
today trees were being eaten by a big fat rabbit it is crazy
and bears scratching tree it is been eaten
ad his honey tree it has been eaten too it is kind of sad that the
trees are being eaten bear is leaving but I don’t t is because baar is.
I will try to deal with the rabbit
A good effort Patrick. Remember you are writing as the bear or rabbits character. Make sure you read over your writing so this is clear and remember to write in the past tense.
Dear Diary, Thursday 4th June 2020.
It all started at 8:00 AM, I was sleeping in my burrow when I heard a loud noise coming from outside. I checked out side of my burrow and I saw a huge monstrous shadow! I jumped out of bed and ran as fast as I could to bear’s cave. “Wake up Bear! Wake up!” I said. Bear responded as he yawned “what is it rabbit?” “I…I…I heard a loud noise!” I said “a big buzzing, electric noise!…and…and it looked like a HUGE MONSTER!” ” Oh it’s nothing! Probably a bush and a few bees, I feel itchy would you mind scratching my back please?” “Sure!” I jumped as high as I could onto bear’s back ” I can’t reach!” I said “it’s ok I’ll go to my scratching tree, care to join me?” Asked bear “ok” I responded. We walked through the forest…I gasped! “Look at your scratching tree! There are marks…a big monster could have eaten it” ” a very very very hungry one indeed!” I started to worry. “I feel hungry let’s go to the tree where the bees live” said bear. I followed close behind him…I was shocked! “Look at the tree! It’s gone!” “It’s ok let’s get some berries from wood peckers tree. Phew! At least the wood peckers tree was ok.
My mum is calling me for dinner so I have to go now diary bye!
From Rabbit
Great effort Clemence! You have included lots of information about what happened. Before publishing your work tomorrow, try to add in some of your thoughts about what was happening. You could build suspense by selecting vocabulary carefully.
Chapter 1 of Rabbits diary entry
———————————————-
4/6/20
Dear Diary
Today in the bright and beautiful orange forest I saw a big gap on bear’s scratching tree, I ran as fast as I could to bear. I went into bear’s cave and told bear ” where do trees go for the winter ? ” bear said to me ” trees stay exactly where they are, maybe you are thinking of birds. birds fly south for the Winter. ” I said to bear
” some trees are.” ” but trees can’t fly ” said bear. After bear said that she had to do her morning scratch, this time it was on her back, she couldn’t reach it so she told me to do it for her. I tried to reach it but with all her fur I couldn’t. She told me that she would go to her favourite scratching tree. ” Umm bear ” I said but she was already going. Then bear looked up ” where is my scratching tree. ” said bear ” that is what I have been trying to tell you. ” I looked down and I was shocked to see what was left was a stump. Bear went closer and said ” also with some tooth marks. ” And I said GIANT TOOTH MARKS. ” whilst I was shivering. I thought what type of beast could do that ! Bear said ” a hungry one indeed which reminds me we need to eat breakfast. ” Both of us went to the honey bee tree and the same thing happened, something took a bite out of it. Then we thought that woodpecker lived in a tree so we checked if she was okay. We went to check and she was okay, she said that she was going South for the Winter.
Well done Chloe K! You have written lots about your day out! You have included lots of direct speech in your diary, however, it is important to discuss your feelings and thoughts about the events that happened aswell.
Hello miss
4th June 2020
Dear diary
Yesterday was super scary I nearly got eaten by a gigantic monster there was tooth marks everywhere I was totally freaked out. I felt scared and worried just in case something happens to me. The forest was dark and quiet, Oh yeah by the way I was in the forest with a friendly brave bear that saved my life. We walked further and further into the forest and I saw a woodpecker that was packing to go south for more party’s and fun. We walked down and deeper into the forest with the bear and woodpecker and heared a loud crunch! Can you imagine?! It was a monster! We ran and we were safe.
The end hope you like it.
Well done Chloe H, you have sequenced your writing clearly using paragraphs. Check paragraph one to make sure it is all written in the past tense. You may like to continue writing about what happens next!
A really good start Helena, I like how you have included some lovely description in your diary. As you continue make sure your writing is all in the past tense. You might like to discuss the mystery of the tree stump with teeth marks.
A good start Louis, as you continue writing your diary entry, include some description about how you felt and what the teeth marks looked like, could you tell which animal they might have been from?
Well done Sebastian, as you continue writing your next part, you might like to write about Bear and Rabbit finding a new scratching tree or maybe they have difficulty finding one if they have all been eaten!
4th June 2020
Dear diary.
This morning rabbit scream of wake me up in my dark, rocky cave.
“Bear, the trees are beginning to disappear, maybe monster was eating them ?” This is nonsense I thought “. I got up from bed and I feelt my back was itching so I ask rabbit if he could scratch my itchy back for me. Rabbit tried but he couldn’t do it because of my long and thick fur. So I decided to scratching my back on my favourite scratching tree. When we went outside I saw that my favourite scratching tree has disappeard. I was shocked and furiest I looked at the sky and I start screaming .”Where is my favourite scratching tree”.
Great start Karolina! Check line 6 is written in the past tense. I am looking forward to reading about the mystery of the scratching tree that vanished!
4 June
Dear dairy
Today I woke up and decided to go for a hop. As I hopped I noticed a
breezy forest ,so I decided to take a hop inside .Suddenly I heard a loud sound. I thought it was a giant rabbit chewing a giant carrot. So I started to tremble so much with fear I thought my ears were going too drop off. When I hopped closer I noticed a half chewed tree so I hopped closer. To my horror I could see giant teeth marks. They looked really horrible. I went hopping up to bear to tell him. He seemed very chilled and calm.
Great start Jiana! I can definitely tell which character you are with all of the hopping!
As you continue your diary, you might like to talk about the mystery of the chewed tree and who did it 🙂
It has been a very,very long day for both of us, but a lot more stressful for me.
I woke up very early in the morning with a burning question on my mind.As I couldn’t answer the question myself I burst into Bear’s cave to seek help from her as she was the only one to know what happened to trees in the
winter.
Annoyingly, she had an early morning itch!!! She needed to go out to her scratching tree .When we got there, we found nothing but stamp with giant tooth marks on it. What a day!
Hello Miss Jones, this is my entry:
5th June 2007
Dear Diary,
Yesterday was super scary because I thought there was a monster eating the trees!!! Early in the morning I went out and recognised that there were no trees, they have disappeared. I was frightened and shocked and ran to tell Bear but he was calm.
I was worried all day but Woodpecker’s tree was still there which was a relief. In the end I was worried my ears would fall of.
A good start Matthias, remember to write in the past tense throughout your diary entry. As you continue, you could write about how you found out about the mystery of the tree stumps.
Thursday 4th June
Dear Diary,
today we went to find my favourite scratching tree in the forest. When we came I found … teeth marks? Rabbit started to get worried. Then we went to the honey bee tree. I found no honey and no hive. After, Rabbit was like AAAAAAAAAAAH!!! I decided to stay
calm and silent like this: … and then Rabbit fell on the floor shivering
with fear. We were going to investigate.
Well done Emily! A good start, remember to read over and check your punctuation. As you continue you can build suspense by showing how you and rabbit followed the clues to work out the mystery.
Thursday 4th June
dear diary,
Today me and bear woke up and we went outside to get some breakfast but we when outside and all the trees are gone. I was a little scared we stopped in front of bear’s favourite scratching tree and I got so afraid because bears scratching tree as been bitten . I shouted but I said Why are you not worrying and bear said because worrying doesn’t fix anything . We continue walking to get to the honey tree ones we got there it was gone I was shaking because I said there was a monster bear said there is no such thing as a monster we saw a woodpecker I said hello. The woodpecker said I am packing to go to south to celebrate and to have fun but my brown eyes saw something. It looked like a monster eating all the trees crunch crunch.
to be continue…
Well done Graceanne, a good start! You have included some nice details about how you felt. When you publish your work tomorrow, remember to read over it and edit your punctuation and check you have written in the past tense throughout.
Hi Miss
this is my english for today
4th June 2020
Dear Diary,
Something astounding happened today but let me start from the morning. I was sleeping peacefully in my cave and out of the blue Rabbit ran in, woke me up and started talking some stupid gibberish about trees flying south for the winter. I told Rabbit that birds fly south for the winter not trees!! I asked him to scratch my back, but he could not reach my itch, so I went out to scratch my back on my favourite scratching tree, but the tree was gone.
Well done Orla, a good start! As you continue your writing, you may like to build suspense by writing about the clues you discovered to work out the mystery of the vanishing tree.
Thursday 4th June 2020
Dear diary,
Today I woke up terrified when I saw that outside, nearly all the trees were gone. So I ran to bear’s cave and I said : “Bear, where do trees go during winter ?”. Bear wouldn’t listen, he just kept on moning about yet another itch on his back. When we went outside, we discovered stumps covered with tooth marks on the trees but bear wasn’t worrying at all so I asked : “WHY AREN’T YOU WORRYING ?!”. But bear just said : ” worrying doesn’t fix things but breakfast does”. And so we were off to find the honey tree . But the honey tree was gone ! I was so terrified !!!!!!
A good start Penelope! Well done for writing in the past tense. When you use speech marks you don’t need to use a colon before :
Thursday 4th June 2020
Dear Diary,
Today I ran into bears cave in the forest to tell him I heard something but he was snoring away, I had to wait a long time for him to finally wake up!
Then he woke up because the noises were still going on. Then bear had an itch and I tried to reach it but his fur was in the way and it was hard to scratch it.
A good start Angie! As you continue you can write about the mystery of the tooth marks and include some descriptive words too!
Dear diary
today trees were being eaten by a big fat rabbit it is crazy
and bears scratching tree it is been eaten
ad his honey tree it has been eaten too it is kind of sad that the
trees are being eaten bear is leaving but I don’t t is because baar is.
I will try to deal with the rabbit
from rabbit
A good effort Patrick. Remember you are writing as the bear or rabbits character. Make sure you read over your writing so this is clear and remember to write in the past tense.
Dear Diary, Thursday 4th June 2020.
It all started at 8:00 AM, I was sleeping in my burrow when I heard a loud noise coming from outside. I checked out side of my burrow and I saw a huge monstrous shadow! I jumped out of bed and ran as fast as I could to bear’s cave. “Wake up Bear! Wake up!” I said. Bear responded as he yawned “what is it rabbit?” “I…I…I heard a loud noise!” I said “a big buzzing, electric noise!…and…and it looked like a HUGE MONSTER!” ” Oh it’s nothing! Probably a bush and a few bees, I feel itchy would you mind scratching my back please?” “Sure!” I jumped as high as I could onto bear’s back ” I can’t reach!” I said “it’s ok I’ll go to my scratching tree, care to join me?” Asked bear “ok” I responded. We walked through the forest…I gasped! “Look at your scratching tree! There are marks…a big monster could have eaten it” ” a very very very hungry one indeed!” I started to worry. “I feel hungry let’s go to the tree where the bees live” said bear. I followed close behind him…I was shocked! “Look at the tree! It’s gone!” “It’s ok let’s get some berries from wood peckers tree. Phew! At least the wood peckers tree was ok.
My mum is calling me for dinner so I have to go now diary bye!
From Rabbit
Great effort Clemence! You have included lots of information about what happened. Before publishing your work tomorrow, try to add in some of your thoughts about what was happening. You could build suspense by selecting vocabulary carefully.
Chapter 1 of Rabbits diary entry
———————————————-
4/6/20
Dear Diary
Today in the bright and beautiful orange forest I saw a big gap on bear’s scratching tree, I ran as fast as I could to bear. I went into bear’s cave and told bear ” where do trees go for the winter ? ” bear said to me ” trees stay exactly where they are, maybe you are thinking of birds. birds fly south for the Winter. ” I said to bear
” some trees are.” ” but trees can’t fly ” said bear. After bear said that she had to do her morning scratch, this time it was on her back, she couldn’t reach it so she told me to do it for her. I tried to reach it but with all her fur I couldn’t. She told me that she would go to her favourite scratching tree. ” Umm bear ” I said but she was already going. Then bear looked up ” where is my scratching tree. ” said bear ” that is what I have been trying to tell you. ” I looked down and I was shocked to see what was left was a stump. Bear went closer and said ” also with some tooth marks. ” And I said GIANT TOOTH MARKS. ” whilst I was shivering. I thought what type of beast could do that ! Bear said ” a hungry one indeed which reminds me we need to eat breakfast. ” Both of us went to the honey bee tree and the same thing happened, something took a bite out of it. Then we thought that woodpecker lived in a tree so we checked if she was okay. We went to check and she was okay, she said that she was going South for the Winter.
Well done Chloe K! You have written lots about your day out! You have included lots of direct speech in your diary, however, it is important to discuss your feelings and thoughts about the events that happened aswell.
Hello miss
4th June 2020
Dear diary
Yesterday was super scary I nearly got eaten by a gigantic monster there was tooth marks everywhere I was totally freaked out. I felt scared and worried just in case something happens to me. The forest was dark and quiet, Oh yeah by the way I was in the forest with a friendly brave bear that saved my life. We walked further and further into the forest and I saw a woodpecker that was packing to go south for more party’s and fun. We walked down and deeper into the forest with the bear and woodpecker and heared a loud crunch! Can you imagine?! It was a monster! We ran and we were safe.
The end hope you like it.
Excellent effort Gabriella! You have explained what happened clearly. Check line three of your paragraph that it is all in the past tense.
Well done Chloe H, you have sequenced your writing clearly using paragraphs. Check paragraph one to make sure it is all written in the past tense. You may like to continue writing about what happens next!
A really good start Helena, I like how you have included some lovely description in your diary. As you continue make sure your writing is all in the past tense. You might like to discuss the mystery of the tree stump with teeth marks.
A good start Louis, as you continue writing your diary entry, include some description about how you felt and what the teeth marks looked like, could you tell which animal they might have been from?
Well done Sebastian, as you continue writing your next part, you might like to write about Bear and Rabbit finding a new scratching tree or maybe they have difficulty finding one if they have all been eaten!
4th June 2020
Dear diary.
This morning rabbit scream of wake me up in my dark, rocky cave.
“Bear, the trees are beginning to disappear, maybe monster was eating them ?” This is nonsense I thought “. I got up from bed and I feelt my back was itching so I ask rabbit if he could scratch my itchy back for me. Rabbit tried but he couldn’t do it because of my long and thick fur. So I decided to scratching my back on my favourite scratching tree. When we went outside I saw that my favourite scratching tree has disappeard. I was shocked and furiest I looked at the sky and I start screaming .”Where is my favourite scratching tree”.
Great start Karolina! Check line 6 is written in the past tense. I am looking forward to reading about the mystery of the scratching tree that vanished!
4 June
Dear dairy
Today I woke up and decided to go for a hop. As I hopped I noticed a
breezy forest ,so I decided to take a hop inside .Suddenly I heard a loud sound. I thought it was a giant rabbit chewing a giant carrot. So I started to tremble so much with fear I thought my ears were going too drop off. When I hopped closer I noticed a half chewed tree so I hopped closer. To my horror I could see giant teeth marks. They looked really horrible. I went hopping up to bear to tell him. He seemed very chilled and calm.
Great start Jiana! I can definitely tell which character you are with all of the hopping!
As you continue your diary, you might like to talk about the mystery of the chewed tree and who did it 🙂
Iv’e done the writing.
Dear Diary
It has been a very,very long day for both of us, but a lot more stressful for me.
I woke up very early in the morning with a burning question on my mind.As I couldn’t answer the question myself I burst into Bear’s cave to seek help from her as she was the only one to know what happened to trees in the
winter.
Annoyingly, she had an early morning itch!!! She needed to go out to her scratching tree .When we got there, we found nothing but stamp with giant tooth marks on it. What a day!