Good morning Class 4!
Today we will begin this week’s main writing task which will be linked to our text, The Tempest…
This week, we learnt all about the storm in The Tempest and we thought about some similes and metaphors to describe the storm.
I want us to use these in our writing today to make our work really descriptive and effective.
Look at the examples below:
Metaphor:
An avalanche of hailstones fell from the sky.
Simile:
The hailstones clattered to the ground like marbles spilled from a box.
In Shakespeare’s ‘The Tempest’ the crew shout ‘All Lost! To Prayers, to prayers! All Lost!’ as the ship is sinking.
They think this is the end so they are saying their final prayers.
It is a really powerful way to begin the play and I want us to try and capture this in our writing today.
I want us to try and make our readers really imagine how severe and frightening the powerful storm must have been.
Today and tomorrow I would like you to write a poem about the storm (or just a storm in general) using Mighty Metaphors and Storm Similes.
Poetry is a type of literature that conveys a thought, describes a scene or tells a story in a concentrated, lyrical arrangement of
words. You should use your voice and the words to create the dramatic effect so you will need to think about techniques like spacing, tone, articulation, rhythm, sound levels.
For more information about poetry, click here:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/topics/z4mmn39
The Primary Shakespeare Company have written an example poem here: Example PSC
You might want to follow the outline of the example, with a repeated phrase at the end of each stanza.
Try to describe the different elements of the storm in each stanza. For example the lightning, the wind, the rail or hail, the thunder, the dark clouds and the waves.
Today, try to write your first stanza and type it on the blog so that myself and your classmates can give feedback.
If you do give feedback to someone, please try to write one thing that person has done really well and one thing they could improve to make their stanza even better.
Once you have your feedback, you can start writing the rest of your poem ready to edit and post onto tomorrow’s blog.
Some things to remember:
– Spelling
– Punctuation
– Metaphors (they describe something as something else, for example, ‘Class 4 are all superstars.’)
– Similes (they compare something to something else, for example, ‘Class 4 make Miss Lee as proud as a peacock.’)
– Descriptive language
– Make sure your poem is about a storm
Enjoy and try your best!
I can’t wait to read your first stanzas!
Please ask if you have any questions or need some ideas/help!
From Miss Lee 🙂
FOR A PRINTABLE VERSION OF THIS BLOG, PLEASE CLICK HERE: English
Hello Miss Lee, hope you are doing well. This is my poem.
A THUNDERED SHIP
A Ship on the sea,
Swiftly swaying about,
Land ahoy said the captain
Little did they know…
Darkness caved in,
Pitter patter went the rain,
softly like a shower.
Thunder! Lightning!
Crash! Crash!
Lightning attacked the ship
We are going down!
Alas the sea,
waves crashed on the ship
Sinking, sinking.
All was lost, all was lost.
Hello Holly, I am doing well thank you, how are you?
Wow Holly this is a brilliant poem! Well done!
You have separated your ideas into stanzas and used some great vocabulary such as onomatopoeia.
T – Can you try to add one more simile and a metaphor?
Wow Holly great poem I like how you used repatition and onomatopoeia! There is a lot of suspense and I love the ending.
Your title is really attractive too.
Do you like my title:
The sullen, savage storm.
Hello Miss Lee, hope you are doing well.
This my poem of the THUNDER SHIP!
A ship that was on a sea
Swaying around to an island
Everyone said ahoy
Then the Captain said there
Is a mysterious monster
Ahead.
That lives in a very dark cave
Then a thunder storm went splash
In the water waves went Pitter Patter
And then the rain went down like a
Shower.
Then I happened again lightning
Crash kaboom, the ship was on fire
Then the captain said we are going down.
The sea covered the ship and they were
All lost All lost.
Hello Karter, yes I am doing well thank you, how are you?
Great work Karter! I like how your poem is telling a story and describes the storm as a monster!
T – Can you add a simile and also see if you can think of different ways to start each like to avoid using “then” too often. Read your poem out loud to someone to check each line is coherent.
The crashing ship
The wind howls like a pack of wolves. The ship about to crash into a rock as sharp as a dagger!Too late to save it now. The thunder roars louder than a lion. Lightning strikes the ship. Everyone thinking they will die, clinging to anything that they can find. The burning remains of the ship crash into the rocks and sink.
Hi Vincent!
I love the powerful imagery you have created in your poem! You have included some great similes! Your lime “too late to save it now” is very effective and makes the storm.soumd very sinister.
T – A lot happens in this stanza, can you try and spread the action out a little bit. For example, your first line is great to describe the wind but then maybe continue describing the wind for your first stanza, then move onto the thunder. I hope that makes sense, just ask if you have more questions.
THE STORM
Once there was a magical
Storm that punished the
King of Naples for trying to trap
Prospero with a nasty sunken ship
King alonso then celebrated
The wonderful birthday of his daughter
The ship was decorated to the highest
But it all got ruined because of the howling storm
The storm was acting like muscular body builder,
The storm got more angry and it started to grow
Then suddenly it got more angrier and started to
Hammer down with rain
All the slaves were crying “All lost prayers , all lost prayers”
The ship sadly sunk in darkness
Hi Albert!
Well done for linking your poem to the story The Tempest! I like your use of personification when you describe the storm as angry!
T – read back through your work to for missing words. For example instead of ‘The storm was acting like muscular body builder’ it should be ‘The storm was acting like a muscular body builder’.
Then add some similes and metaphors to describe each part of the storm (thunder, wind, waves…).
This is my first stanza miss Lee.
Hope you enjoy
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The savage, sullen storm!
There on the relaxing sea,
Just the perfect thing for me.
It is such an appetite,
But here comes the dynamite.
The End!
Hello Stella!
Great title using alliteration!
Well done for using rhyming couplets!
T – for the rest of your poem, now try to use lots of similes and metaphors to describe the storm. If you are going to make it rhyme throughout that is great but make sure the words you are using make sense. Remember the goal is to describe the storm so concentrate on that first, and if you can make it rhyme.. great! But don’t focus just on the rhyming words. I can’t wait to read the finished poem!
Good morning class 4!
This is my poem for you…
STORM AT SEA
Thunder and lightning⚡,
As booming as a voice of a lion,
It is a tremble of a gigantic earthquake.
Boom, boom, boom.
Crashing waves and storm at sea,
As enormous as you can see.
It is a streaming waterfall splashing against rocks,
Crash, crash, crash.
Whooshing wind and scary noises,
As petrifying as a dangerous ghost.
It is a howling dark, mysterious cloud,
Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh.
A sinking boat and all destroyed,
As horrible as the storm ahead.
It is a drowning dinosaur,
Sink, sink, sink.
Hello Elisa!
I like the repetition of words and onomatopoeia, it is really effective!
You have done well to create a scary atmosphere!
T – now think about how you can start each line to make your poem.even more powerful. Avoid using ‘as’ too often for a sentence starter.
For example,
instead of ‘It is a howling dark, mysterious cloud’
try this ‘Mysterious clouds create a howling darkness’
Hello Miss Lee,?
The thunder BOOMS
Like the voice of a giant.
The lightening,
The sword that splits the night sky.
All hope is sunk!
Hello Mayowa!
Hope you enjoyed the hub yesterday!
Great work so far! I love the final line… It is so effective and powerful! You have created some great imagery!
T – for your next stanzas, look at creating more imagery to describe the different parts of the storm such as the wind or the waves. Maybe you could use the last line you have written here at the end of every stanza?
Clouds as heavy as iron
as dark as an alleyway;
An army of clouds
loaded with spears
waiting to strike.
Hello Pablo!
Wow this is very descriptive and powerful, well done! You have started a new line at just the right point in your sentences to create suspense and it is so effective!
T – continue what you are doing, think carefully about each stanza to keep your poem descriptive and powerful throughout, remembering to use similes and metaphors.
Hello Miss Lee, here is my first stanza. I hope that you like it.
The Storm
The storm was raging like a lion,
The wind was howling loudly.
I looked up at the sky on
Fire; an angry mass of clouds.
Hello Sophie!
Great work so far Sophie! You have done well to include a simile and personification to make your first stanza descriptive and effective!
T – make sure you start a new line when it is necessary, for example ‘fire’ should probably stay on the line before and ‘an angry mass of clouds’ should just be the next line.
Continue writing your next stanzas with this in mind, I look forward to reading the rest!
Shipwrecked
I feel anger rising up inside.
I see a colossal ship on the horizon,
and a chance to torment.
My breath with the mast did collide.
Thats the first stanza!
Hello William!
Fantastic start! You have done well to create powerful imagery! They last line is great! An good idea to write from a different perspective! Sounds like you are Prospero watching and waiting to cause mayhem!
T – in your next stanzas make sure you include similes and metaphors to add even more description.
Hello ? Miss Lee,
Here is my poem.
Thunder and safety!!
As the waves blow strong,
Prospero and his daughter sang a song,
The ship was dig,
The sailors were sick.
“Thunder! Thunder!”People cried.
In the distance there was a light,
The light shined bright.
Away from the very strong tide.
“Safety! Safety!” Prospero cried
THNDER AND LIGHTING
The lighting is as loud as firing guns and the shouting canyons, The Thunder!
The thunder is like a lion roaring to the kingdom, The Thunder!
The lighting hits the planet as hard as an asteroid, The Thunder!
The lighting is hitting the earth like a shattering window, The Thunder!
Hello, Miss Lee and Class 4,
This is my Poem:
The Destroying Storm!
A Ship on the sea
Sailing, sailing the ship went,
Darkness began to close in
And waves were a lot stronger
Sailing, sailing they go
Crash! Crash!
Lighting strikes the ship
Their sinking, their sinking!
So they shout “All lost!” “All lost!”
As the ship was sinking…
Hello Raimundo!
Great work! I like that you have included phrases from the story and some onomatopoeia! It is really effective!
T – check you have used the correct spellings for works (for example their should be they’re in your last stanza).
Then try to add even more descriptions about the storm using similes and metaphors. You could describe each part of the storm such as the wind, the rain or hail or the dark clouds.
The dangerous storm.
This was not a normal day, the storm came to play. The waves were crashing against the rocks smashing. It was like planets fighting. The ship collapsed they were fish being eating by whales.
The thunder came to play a game. The beating and the crashing were annoying. The screams of the babies were as loud as the thunder.
Great work Martin! I like the rhyming in the first stanza! The words smashing and crashing are effective!
T – try to think about when you start a new line to add suspense. Write the poem how you would like it to be read. For example:
This was not a normal day,
the storm, it came to play.
The waves were crashing
against the rocks they were smashing.
Then try to include more similes and metaphors to add even more description. I look forward to reading your final version!
Storm at sea
Lightning strikes the ship,
CRASH,BOOOOM
flames appear on the ship
as a lion swiftly running.
And suddenly it was all gone
Good work Rafael!
Good use of onomatopoeia and a metaphor!
T – Now try to add some stanzas which describe the storm in more detail. You could describe each part individually such as the wind and then rain. I look forward to reading what you come up with!
Thank you Stella for being so kind. I really liked your poem and how you made it rhyme. The title is attractive and I liked the ending.??
Well done Holly and Stella for reading other children’s work and commenting. It is useful to do this to improve our writing even more!
hi miss :):P:D
here is my poem….
(only my 1st stanza!)
THE SACRED STORM
as the foamy waves crash against the silent shore, I hear the winds almighty roar,for tonight we all take flight . I tried to hold my teddy tight,because this was obviously not our fight.
did you like it?give me feedback so I could improve!
Hello Amarissa!
Great work! I like “the foamy waves” and also the rhyming words. Your frost stanza is really effective because it builds suspense and makes the reader imagine the storm that is brewing.
T – check punctuation for example ‘the winds almighty roar’ should be ‘wind’s’ with an apostrophe.
Next, try to include some similes and metaphors in your following stanzas to describe the storm in detail. Concentrate on the describing of the storm rather than the rhyming for now and when you finish if you can make it rhyme, great!
GOOD AFTERNOON
Miss Lee this is my poem.
The Consecutive
Storms of Terror
Waves of fury,
crashing against the shore,
Wrecking the ships it can find.
waves plunge with rage ,
No remains left behind .
Bolts of decease,
Pretty like pure gold,
Strikes people to death.
Hitting as much as it can,
Until their last breath.
It stopped,
no more storm…
here it goes again.
why do you think it’s called
The consecutive storms of terror?
Good afternoon Emilie!
Great start! I like the title, it makes it sound like the storm keeps coming back and no one knows when it will end!
T – can you add some similes and metaphors to describe the different aspects of the storm? Such as the wind or hail or dark clouds. I look forward to reading the final version!
Hi everyone I hope you are doing very well and you are safe?
THE DARK SEA
A ship on the sea, tumbling and
tipping over captain said a man on
the ship the dark sea is to dangerous
the ship but the captain didn’t care
what he said. The next morning half the
men were gone captain a ship member
said what do we do now the captain didn’t
reply after lunch everyone was building a
big wooden box, but on the outside it like
a box but on the inside they hade just what
they needed they all offered the captain to
Stay with them but he refused he wanted to
show that they weren’t diapering then he
said he will find out we’re the rest of the crew was…
Hello Ciana!
Some great ideas here, I like that you have included the captain in your writing. ‘Tumbling and tipping’ is also a great phrase, I can really imagine the boat swaying in the big waves!
T – try to think carefully about your descriptions of the storm as this is the purpose of the poem. Some of your writing is starting to sound more like a story. Perhaps read other children’s work on this blog for some ideas to help you and the example which I put a link to I’m this blog. I hope that makes sense, please ask if you have any questions or need some more help!
The Magic Tempest ⛈
Wind ?, clashing; Sails, bashing
Both, sounding as ugly as a three-headed dog ?
And as for the people on board,
It felt like being pricked by a hedgehog ?.
It was a storm ☔️, NO, a Tempest
One would never say ‘twas the bestest
For one would never like to see;
What happened to those who just wanted to be free.
Terrible things occurred I must say,
And people felt a wave of relief when the storm ⛈ blew away.
But what made the crew on the boat most afraid
Was if that the storm was man, rather, sorcerer ??♂️ made.
It was a magic Tempest
Great work Lucy!
I like the use of rhyming couplets it is really effevtive! You have also used some good vocabulary to describe the storm.
T – just check all of you similes make sense, such as ‘sounding as ugly as a three-headed dog’ can something sound ugly?
Then add some more similes and metaphors to describe the storm in even more detail!
Hello Miss Lee and everyone ?
Here is my poem about storm:
The sky separates
Like a shattering glass
Crash! CrASH! CRASH!
The thunder shouts
As deafening as a roaring tiger
Roar! RoAR! ROAR
The lighting strikes
As fast a diving eagle
Screech! scREECH! SCREECH!
I hope I have done it the right way ? 😀
Hello Clare!
Great work! I like the first line, it is very powerful!
Good use of presentation to build suspense in your poem. I can imagine the storm getting louder and louder and more destructive!
T – continue writing the rest of your poem trying to stick to the pattern you have started with. Try to include even more similes and some metaphors. Then proof read your work to check for missing words such as:
‘As fast a diving eagle’
should be:
‘As fast as a diving eagle’
The great storm
The thunder is growling,
The heavens are scowling,
The lightning is flashing,
The forest is crashing,
The great storm is here.
Some good words to describe the storm, well done!
T – Now try to include some similes and metaphors to make your poem even more descriptive.
THUNDER AND LIGHTING
The lighting is as loud as a firing gun and shouting canyons, The Thunder!
The thunder is like a lion roaring to the kingdom, The Thunder!
The lighting hits the planet as hard as an asteroid, The Thunder!
The lighting is hitting the earth like a shattering window, The Thunder!
Hello Ajay!
Some great similes to create imagery which makes your poem really effective.
T – now try to think of different ways to start each line to avoid using ‘the’ too often. This will make your poem even more engaging to the reader.
For example:
Thunder roars like a lion to its kingdom.
I will edit the poem and send it to you. Thank you Miss Lee.