Good Morning Year 6!
Tomorrow, is the 75th Anniversary of VE (Victory in Europe) Day as the United Kingdom remembers the end of the war in Europe. To mark this occasion, tomorrow is a national Bank Holiday. Please make sure you check out Miss Coleman’s ‘Whole School Blog’ tomorrow to learn more!
Today we’re going to do some writing! I’m so excited to see what you’re able to write. As there will be no writing blog tomorrow, today you are going to publish your whole piece!
As you are publishing your writing today, it is extra important that you proof read and edit regularly to ensure that it makes sense!
Task:
You are the Queen, write a letter to the public asking them to find the thief.
- Structure your letter correctly
- Give a description of the thief (2-4 details)
- Give details of a generous reward
- Use formal language (you are the Queen!)
Plan your writing in your Home Learning Book.
When you are proof reading and editing, here are some questions you might want to think about:
- Is every sentence correctly punctuated?
- Have I checked my spellings?
- Are my language choices formal?
- Is my letter well structured?
- Have I included a clear description of the thief?
Introduction–‘I am writing to you today…’ Why are you writing the letter? What has happened?
Paragraph 1-Description of the stolen goods
Paragraph 2-Description of the thief
Paragraph 3– Description of generous reward
Conclusion-What do you want to happen?
Remember, proof reading and editing is such an important part of the writing process!
We can’t wait to read your writing!
Miss Gorick and Mrs Healy xx
Have a read of Charles’ letter here! Letter
Ariella’s letter!
Have a look at Maryana’s writing!
For Sergio’s letter, click here! Letter To Queen-Sergio
For a printable version of the blog, click here Thursday English
Hello Miss Gorick,
Do we plan and write everything in our home learning books or only plan in are home learning book and write in this blog?
Morning 🙂 it is great to hear from you! It is up to you, I definitely suggest planning it in your home learning book but you could write it on the computer (make the edits) and then copy and paste it onto the blog if that’s easier 🙂
I can’t wait to read your letter!
Thank you Miss!
You’re welcome 🙂
Hi Miss Gorick! Just asking, who are we addressing the letter to? It sounds awkward saying “Dear Public…”
Good point Charles! You could say something like:
Dear valued members of the public,
Dear people of the my kingdom…
I agree with you,Charles,
So i was thinking maybe you could wright dear people of ———- (and then you wright the name of the kingdom).
That’s a good idea Jade!
Good morning miss, do we describe Chaya, or someone else because in the book it says that they didn’t believe a girl could have stolen the jewels.
Morning Gabriel ? that’s a good point. Are they suspicious that Neel has stolen the ? jewels?
Yes, thank you Miss.
I look forward to reading your writing! ✍️
I have sent in my writing!
Great work Charles! Thank you ? I will add your letter to the blog.
? you structured your letter correctly meaning it was clear to read.
T) to improve, I would make your first sentence even clearer. What do you want to achieve by sending this letter?
Well done! ?
Dear Members of the public,
I am writing to you so you can help me retrieve my stolen goods.
Now I will tell you what they look like. The goods are golden coins, with my face on it, and there are gems, that sparkle red.
Now let us tell you what the thief looks like. He is tanned and wears a shirt with white and black stripes and a black bob-hat. He carries a duffel bag on his back.
Yes you also may get a reward for finding him and the stolen goods. You will get a one million pound reward for retrieving the goods, another one million if you find the thief, but you get an astonishing two million pounds if you retrieve the stolen goods and catch the thief.
When the thief is caught, he will be in jail for life in a max security prison. Good Luck!
Hi Aryan 🙂 thank you for completing the task!
?gosh it sounds an incredible reward! Well done for structuring your letter accurately-it makes it easy to read.
T) Just double check your sentences-e.g. is it ‘us’ or ‘I’? Also as it is a formal letter, make sure you don’t shorten words.
Well done Aryan ?
Oops! I forgot to add,
Your sincerely
The Queen
To the bottom of my letter
what is the queen’s address?
I’m not sure Gabriel-you can make it up ?
Hello,
Here is my finished and edited letter:
Dear people of my kingdom,
I am writing to you to notify the public of the palace robbery that has taken place and politely ask you to keep an eye out for the thief (details will be given below) who has stolen my most treasured jewels. There will be a generous reward.
The stolen goods in question, were all taken from my bedroom and were a variety of sapphires, rubies and tourmalines. It appears that these are a ring with a 2cm ruby, a tourmaline taken from my crown and a sapphire from a bracelet.
To describe the thief, it was a young girl, about 9-11 years of age. Her skin was a dark tan and her hair was as black as night. The clothes she was wearing appeared to be rags and were patched up. Please keep a look out for these features.
As I am a generous person, I am offering to give all the jewels stolen (a ruby, tourmaline and 2 sapphires) to the hero who finds the girl and brings her back to the palace. This person will also get his/her portrait hung in the palace.
To conclude, we strongly encourage citizens to search the kingdom, along with the guards, to help stop crime in and around the palace and make the kingdom a better place.
Hi Luke ? thank you for completing the task!
? you have structured your letter clearly using paragraphs and I like your use of parenthesis to add extra information.
T) Could you rephrase your paragraph about the thief as some of the sentences sound a little clumsy.
Well done!
This will be really fun!!! ?
I have actually described Chaya,i hope you don’t mind.
From the desk of
The Queen
Dear people of Sri Lanka,
I am writing to you today for there has been a traumetizing incident here at the palace.Someone amongst your children has snuck into the palace,went to my room and has stolen all my special jewels.The most scandalous thing,though id that the King and I kindly organized a glorious festival for all of you but then your children come and steal from me!!!I suggest that now the most appropriate thing to do is to return the jewels if you know your child has them,other wise there will be consequences.
Now for those who want to do honorable service,the jewels are bright and shiny,there are about a dozen:Three rubies,four sappires,two emeralds,one canary,and two steinmatz pink diamond.These unique stones are about the size of a five year olds fist and are stunning to look at.
I demand the thief to be brought back to me,alive.Then when she’s arrived at the castle she will go to court and probably be sentenced to death.The thief is actually said to be a young girl about 12 years old,medium-brown hair complexion,hair tied up in a plait,medium-tall.Now, the King is very mad and i am furious and i promise we will make sure that this thief won’t be rummaging around are beautiful kingdom any longer.
My dearest,beloved public,who ever returns the jewels WILL be rewarded;First they will be given the bestowed the noble title of ‘The Saviour’ and will be known across this island as a very important person.The honored man/woman who who escorts my precious jewels back to me will recieve a prize of one million gold coins.There will also be a bonus of 500 for the person who finds my charm necklace.It is believed to have been stolen by the same theif.
This is a wonderful,glamorous,intelligent kingdom and the King and I will NOT tolerate any stealing.From now forth stealing will be sentenced to deat,and will not happen any longer in our kingdom.Although the theif will be listened to,incase he had a good reason.I,the Queen now greet you and wish you good luck!
The Queen
Hi Jade, thank you so much for completing the task!
? I really enjoyed reading your letter; it was well structured, included formal language and lots of description!
T) just read through and check for a couple of spelling mistakes.
Well done Jade ⭐️
This is my letter:
The Queen
The Royal Palace
AWB 4TN
The Kingdom
To the beloved people of my kingdom,
I am writing to you today about a recent robbery here at the palace last Saturday.
Someone snuck into my chambers and stole some of my most valuable jewellery! Amongst others, there were sapphire earrings, an emerald bracelet and a gold necklace encrusted with diamonds and rubies.
A guard who was questioned said he had seen a tall girl (about 1.6m tall) with ebony hair and ripped clothes, running out of the palace into the forest. He believes she was the thief, but admits he also saw several other figures running away at the time.
Whoever catches the thief and brings her to the palace along with the jewels will be able to dine with me in the palace, and will receive a pink tourmaline gem and a diamond ring.
Yours Royally,
The Queen
Hi Chiara! I really enjoyed reading your letter-your use of formal language shows that you would make a great Queen!
T) just check for missing punctuation around relative clauses.
Well done Chiara! ?
Hi Miss
I will send a photo of my work
Hi Maryana 🙂 thank you, I have just received your letter. I will add it to the blog!
?You have structured your letter well using paragraphs and I like your use of parenthesis to add extra information.
T) Can you re structure your paragraph (which includes the statement about the thief) to increase the clarity for the reader?
Well done ?
Hi Maryana 🙂 I’m so sorry that I didn’t realise your photo hadn’t uploaded. I have tried again so you should see your photo above.
Dear Citizens of my kingdom,
I am mourning the loss of my precious jewels and urge you to continue to search for the thief so I may watch him be tortured and make his family pay for new jewels.
My kingdom is very important to me but my jewels are what I live for and so I must have all you peasants and merchants slaves know that it is now you and the palace guards duty to return my jewels and I will give you five of my wonderful sapphires to as well as a great amount of money too.
yours sincerely
The Queen.
Hi Nina! Thank you for completing the task ?
I really enjoyed reading your letter as you included lots of formal and descriptive language ?
T) Could you re structure your last paragraph? It is too long to be one sentence! I ran out of breath ?!
Well done ?
Dear People of the Kingdom,
As you all must know, recently, there has been a robbery in my palace, and the thief has gotten away and so I have sent you all this letter, in need of your help. My guards have proven to be not so helpful in this mission, and it has caused us to go into drastic measures. I need your help to find this thief. Now I must break into homes to search for them, to find nothing, and to put you in misery. To show you how sorry I am, whoever brings me the thief or tells me who they are will be given a great reward, which shall be kept a surprise for thee. I apologise for the trouble I am putting you through, but now I give you the chance to get back your freedom.
Of course, you’ll need to know what my jewels look like. My jewels consist of sapphires, rubies, emeralds and most of all diamonds. Each of them in shining like the sun, glistening like the water and they all carry the stamp of your Queen. Six of my jewels were stolen, and still none have been found. There will also be a prize of 1500 golden coins for every one of my jewels found. Each of them are the size of acorn shaped like a crystal, except for my most precious one, my emerald elephant jewel. A tiny elephant model, made out of the purest emerald ball on the earth. If this jewel is found, you will be granted 3000 gold coins AND a luxury house near the border of the village, with a nice playground, and good luck for life.
We have little information of this little culprit, as the only guard who caught a glance of there face has been fired because of his lack of evidence, his fright of being fired has led to him being fired, but you must not be scared my good friendly people. We believe it is a young boy, around the age and height of 13. We lost his trail around the elephant cages. We’ve started several royal search parties, lead by General Siri, but the community service is also starting a search party for the thief.
I send kind regards to all who help me, and I hope the thief has the heart to admit,
Queen.
Hi Ethan, it is great to hear from you!
?I really enjoyed reading your letter and your descriptions of the jewels created vivid images in my mind!
T) to improve, I would suggest that you re read your first paragraph. The first sentence sounds a little clumsy which could cause the reader to become confused.
Well done ?
The Queen
The Royal Palace
H2E W1
To the valued members of my kingdom,
I am writing to you today to inform you that there has been a robbery in the palace; jewels from my bedside table have been stolen and the king has decided that the person who stole them will be sentenced to death. A guard told me that he saw a girl there around one metre tall with a cloth pouch filled with something clanky, he also said that she had short black hair and was wearing a ragged skirt. I am extremely disappointed with our country, so I have decided to stop all this thievery and I have sent around guards to go look around the village to find the thief.
The Jewels that were stolen where my blue sapphires along with my shiny emerald green necklace. Another jewel was a ruby red ring.
Yours faithfully,
The Queen.
Hi Elly , thank you for completing the task!
? I really enjoyed reading your letter as you have structured it well meaning it is easy to read. Good use of a semi colon too!
T) to improve, just read through again and check for any spelling mistakes.
Well done ?
Hi everyone!
Miss,is it okay if i send you my work through sharing photos,as mine is quite long?
Thanks
Of course! I have just received it and will read through your work now ? thank you!
Hi Ariella smile ?
I have really enjoyed reading your letter!
? you have structured your letter clearly with paragraphs and I like your choice of language, especially: traumatising, despicable, bandit, inform.
T) To improve, just read through and double check for spelling mistakes.
Well done ?
Dear people of my kingdom,
I am writing this because something appalling happened in my Palace: my irreplaceable gems have been stolen from my bedside table.
The stolen goods were: ten of my most precious sparkling diamonds, five of my priceless aqua green emeralds, my antique black opal, four blood red rubies and three pink sapphires. If you do find the jewels please be very cautious with them for not only they are truly valuable, they have been in the family generations for years. The jewels were in a box, but the thief didn’t take it, so the jewels must be in a bag or pouch.
The thief is could be a boy or a girl because one of my guards told me he saw a girl and two boys running away. look out for kids of the age of 13 with black, long hair, and see if the are hiding something or if they have something suspicious, if they do then immediately send word to the King’s general.
If they thief was caught by you, a great amount of money will be given. £10,000 will be awarded, and will have an official meeting with the King to be congratulated. If not wanting the money we can give you a villa in the city, and be recognised as a hero.
Please send word to the King’s general if something looks suspicious, and meanwhile his soldiers will go daily to every house to check you are not hiding anything.
Yours sincerely
The Queen.
Hi Gabriel 🙂 thank you for completing the task!
? Well done for structuring your letter clearly with paragraphs.
T) Please proof read your work and check for the following things:
-capital letters
-missing words
Well done Gabriel ?
Dear valued citizens,
I am writing to you today to let you know of a theft at the Palace.
Someone’s child has broken into my bedchambers and stolen my jewels!
The stolen goods include rubies, sapphires and a minute cat’s eye pendant. Among these are several priceless diamonds and gold ingots.
The description of the fugitive is vague. A black boy with lengthy charcoal hair (12 years of age) was seen bearing a duffel bag dashing into the woods.
If your child matches the description above, hand him in for trial.
The award is 5 billion Rupees and two of the diamonds stolen.
As well surrendering the boy, please turn over the jewels; refusing to do so will only result in death alongside the burglar.
Notify the King or his acquaintances when you have found the thief.This is a civilized and undisturbed kingdom and we will not accept such robberies.
Best regards,
Your beloved and concerned Queen
Hi Laetitia! Thank you for completing the task ? Your letter is quite threatening…!
? I really enjoyed reading your letter and your choice of language creates a formal letter (fugitive, civilised, acquaintances etc).
T) In your paragraph where you list the stolen goods, can you re structure it so it Is one sentence, includes a colon and parenthesis?
Well done ?
Good afternoon Miss Gorick and Mrs Healy,
Sorry for the late reply, but here is my work?:
The Queen
The Royal Palace
AM2 6P9
The Dalius Kingdom
Dear people of my kingdom,
I am writing to inform you of a robbery that has taken place in my palace. Please inform me or my palace guards if you see anyone that fits the description (details will be given below).
My jewels have been stolen from my blackwood vanity. My pearl necklace, my diamond crown and the most valued, a blue diamond ring that has been passed down for generations. If I do not get my ring back, I will have no choice but to destroy everyone’s homes in order to find it. My guards have already started with Polyorth Street and will be moving throughout the Kingdom. If we find the ring or any other stolen item from the Palace you will be banished from my Kingdom forever.
These features are very vague, but please turn in anyone who fits the description.
The person in question is said to be a boy who is 11-13 years of age, brown eyes, brown hair, tanned skin and appeared to be wearing brown, patched up clothing.
Whoever can present me the thief will get the sum of £100,000 and will get a lavish silk coat.
In the Kingdom of Dalius, we do not want to tear down houses and banish people, but our Kingdom does not tolerate crime, especially if the crime is committed to the rulers of this Kingdom. If these crimes are committed again, we will raise the severity of your punishment.
Yours Sincerely,
The Queen.
Hi Shun! Don’t apologise, it is great to hear from you!
? I really enjoyed reading your letter (although it is quite threatening!!). Your use of paragraphs makes the letter clear to read and you have chosen formal language effectively (lavish, severity, banished etc)
T) To improve, just check for missing commas around embedded clauses.
Well done Shun! ?
Hello again,
I forgot to add…
Yours sincerely,
The Queen
Even better!
Here’s my piece:
Dear valued members of the public,
I am writing to you to inform you that a terrible event happened at the palace today. The royal jewels from my ancestors have been stolen at dawn; the police are frantically searching for this devious thief. I officially request your help in this matter.
While I am still in shock, I will try to describe the thief to my best ability to help identify her. When she stood in front of me, she looked very young around 12 years old. She was tall and slim with piercing black almond shape eyes, and she wore ragged clothes in sandy and earthy tones. An important detail I have noticed was that she wore unmatching sport shoes with two different colours, blue on the right foot and black on the left foot. She also had a very distinctive Scottish accent. When she ran away, I could see that she has a long dark brown plait.
Most of my ancestor’s jewels were stolen and it included some of the rarest jewellery pieces offered as gifts from royal families from all around the world. The descriptions of my vintage jewels are twilight, peacock and royal sapphires set into rings, elbaite encrusted in dravite cuffs, Paraiba rings surrounded with silver, bi-colour tourmalines craved in a heart brooch, rubies and garnets embedded in a heavy layer of gold, tiaras, diamond chokers, and pearl hairpins. Luckily the crown was not stolen.
I would like to request everyone’s support to stop that brazen thief and I will reward you generously with a large monetary prize and an OBE if you find the criminal. You will have the honour to meet me, the Queen, in a ceremony at the palace.
In conclusion, be aware of the criminal and stay safe; if you have any information about this dangerous individual call the police on +44 119.
Yours faithfully
Your Majesty the Queen
Hi Anahi ?
Thank you for uploading your work-I really enjoyed reading your letter!
?Your use of descriptive language is fantastic! Whilst reading your letter, vivid images appeared in my mind of the jewels and the thief. I especially like your use of ‘sandy and earthy tones’ and ‘royal sapphires’ ?.
T) To improve, just re read your 1st couple of sentences. Can you rephrase them so they are a little clearer to read?
Dear valued members of the public,
I am writing to you today to let you know that there has been a terrible accident in my palace Yesterday someonew stole my jewels.
The jewels are my most precious object is ever own but now it is gone, my favorite one is the red and green. If you could help me there are 4 jewels red, orange, yellow and green.
The thief could be a girl or boy. look out for kids of the age of 13 with black, long hair, with scruffy clothes and see if the are hiding something or if they have something suspicious, if they do then immediately send the massage to the king’s guards.
If you bring me the thief and the jewels you will get a total of £200,000. If you bring me the jewels you will get one of the jewels and gold ,if you bring me the boy you will get £10,000 and gold.
What me and the king decided is that the whole Kingdom looks for the thief and the jewels.
Thank you, Good luck.
Your sincerely,
The Queen
Hi Eliza 🙂 thank you for completing the task for today!
?Well done for structuring your writing with paragraphs as this makes it easier to read!
T) can you read over your work again? Look out for the following things:
Missing words
Missing punctuation
Capital letters
Well done Eliza! ?
Dear people of my kingdom,
I am writing this because something appalling happened in my palace: my irreplaceable gems have been stolen from my bedside table.
The stolen goods were: ten of my most precious sparkling diamonds, five of my priceless aqua green emeralds, my antique black opal, four blood red rubies and three pink sapphires. If you do find the jewels please be very cautious with them for not only they are truly valuable, they have been in the family generations for years. The jewels were in a box, but the thief didn’t take it, so the jewels must be in a bag or pouch.
The thief could be either a boy or a girl because one of my guards told me that he saw a girl and two boys running away. Look out for kids of the age of 13 with black, long hair, and see if the are hiding something, or if they have something suspicious, if they do then immediately send word to the King’s general.
If they thief was caught by you, a great amount of money will be given. £10,000 will be awarded, and you will have an official meeting with the King to be congratulated. If not wanting the money we can give you a villa in the city, and you can be recognised as a hero.
Please send word to the King’s general if something looks suspicious, and meanwhile his soldiers will go daily to every house to check you are not hiding anything, and they are not going to do it gently.
Yours sincerely
The Queen
Hi Gabriel ? Thank you for submitting your work!
?You have structured your letter very clearly using paragraphs. Well done! I’m also pleased to see that you have used some formal language.
T) To improve, can you re phrase the paragraph describing the thief? I think you could increase the formality of this paragraph.
Well done Gabriel ?
Hello Everyone! here is my letter:
Dear Members of the Public,
I am writing to all of you regarding my stolen goods.
They are my sapphires, rubies,emeralds and my beloved necklace that my darling husband gave to me.
The thief is supposedly a boy so let me make it easier to identify him by telling you all what he looks like.He has a tanned skin tone and a red top with the number 64 on it. A black side bag and blue shorts.
A generous reward will be given to whomever can find my jewels.Th amount of money yo receive will differ depending on how many jewels you recover.For all of them £1,000,000 ,for half of them £250,000 and so on and so forth.
Yours Sincerely,
the Queen
Hi Timothy, thank you for completing the task today!
? well done for using formal language and structuring your letter using paragraphs.
T) to improve, can you rephrase the sentence where you mention the stolen goods to increase the clarity for the reader?
Well done Tim! ?
Hi Sergio 🙂 Thank you, I have just received your letter.
🙂 You have used formal language to effectively convey the Queen’s temperament and you have used paragraphs well to structure your letter.
T) To improve, I would re-read your final paragraph and see if you can rephrase it. Could you join some of these sentences together using a conjunction or dash/semi colon?
Well done!
Dear people of the my kingdom,
I am writing to tell you that a very tragic deed happened on the day of the feast… Some of my jewels were stolen.
I am writing to say on no account must someone be hiding or covering for the thief. I am expecting anyone to notify me directly if you happen to find the sneaky thief. This thief may be a boy or a girl. However it seems that the guard may have been mistaken to believe a girl capable of stealing. We must still take in account that anyone could have been the thief.
Here is a description of the jewels for anyone to find them:
There is a moonlit opal in my very best necklace
Beautiful rings
Shining diamonds
Scintillating rubies
that is about all you need to know about the jewels.
In the kingdom of Dalius, we do not want to banish people, we respect them. However our kingdom will not tolerate crime towards the queen or any other royal. If this ever happens again, we will not be as forgiving as this time.
Yours Sincerely,
The Queen.
Hi Miss, I wrote this last week but forgot to send it into the blog. Sorry for being a bit maybe a lot too late.
Dear The public,
I’m sure you have all heard about the tragedy of the stolen jewels.
This letter will be about things regarding the incident and how to resolve it.
The jewels that were stolen were the finest of them all; caved full heartedly and made out of the finest crystals. They meant so much to me because it was a gift from my mother who sadly has perished away and now the kingdom will have to pay for their wrongdoings. The specific jewels were emeralds sapphires diamonds and rubies. They are very expensive and will cost a lot to replace if that’s what we will have to do. I am sad I even have to write this letter because of how selfish the community is around here- and I hope the culprit has a heart and does the right thing.
The 6 jewels all had meanings and were called ‘The infinity stones’. Handing yourself in would be greatly appreciated and all you would have to do is a week of Community service and then you’re free.
Because of how poorly my guards have described the thief I have to go of the public’s evidence. At the current period of time the thief still remains unknown and we are resorting to vandalizing home until we find the jewels. We are very sad that we have to do this but the culprit still hasn’t given I’m so we have to carry on this way. We believe the boy is Scottish because he wore a skirt down to his knees. We ill be searching all Scottish peoples homes to see if we find him.
The reward for giving in will be 100 gold coins per jewel found and a luxury home at the edge of. Town with unlimited access to the swings. The reason I am giving such luxury things is because In conclusion we are hoping to find the suspect as soon as possible freeing this kingdom from all grief.
Kind regards-
The Queen.
Hi Alfie, it is great to hear from you!
Of course it’s not too late, it’s lovely to read your work!
🙂 You’ve really captured the Queen’s character through your use of formal language-well done!
Also, your use of paragraphs gives the letter a clear structure and increases the clarity for the reader.
Well done Alfie!