Good Morning Class 4!
Before we start on today’s English task, we have a birthday in the class today!
Head over to our blog here to find out who’s birthday and to wish them a happy day!
Today in English we are doing a writing task! Remember, tomorrow is a Bank Holiday so there are no class blogs, only a whole school blog (and a news post). So, today you will need to think carefully about your writing and only post it when you have proof-read and editing your work. Check for any spelling, punctuation and grammar errors but also see if there are any parts of your work which you can make even better.
Today we will be writing a diary entry!
I always love reading your diary entries at school, you have got so great at writing them. So now is a chance for you to show everyone at home just how amazing your writing can be!
A few reminders…
Please make sure you read these carefully and you could use them as a check list when you are proof-reading your work to ensure you have included the important features of a diary entry. The most important ones to include are: Past Tense, Detailed Descriptions of what you can see and Thoughts and Feelings!
So, I would like you to imagine that, just like the characters in The Tempest, you have found yourself stranded on a deserted island.
Write a diary entry describing the island in detail and explaining how you feel.
Maybe at first you are excited to be on a beautiful island, to spend some time relaxing but as night crawls in, you slowly realise that you are stuck there, alone and your feeling begin to change?
Perhaps at first you are scared and worried but then you build an impressive shelter which you can’t wait to sleep in and a warm campfire to cook over and you begin to think that island life won’t be all that bad?
Be as creative as you like but make sure your diary is exciting and interesting to your reader!
When you have finished writing, check it. Maybe read it out loud to someone at home as this is a good way to hear your writing and spot any mistakes. Then, either type it onto the blog or send a photo of it!
Don’t forget paragraphs and to use some of those amazing adverbs you thought of earlier this week to describe your actions or even to describe when things happened!
I can’t wait to read your work!
As I said, I always love reading your diary entries so I know your work is going to be great!
Please ask if you have any questions!
From Miss Lee 🙂
If you would like to type your first few sentences on here before you continue to get some feedback then please do!
FOR A PRINTABLE VERSION OF THIS BLOG, PLEASE CLICK HERE: English
Can I do it in my yellow book Miss Lee??
Yes of course! 😀
Hello everyone! I will send in my work for you.
Hello Holly! Great, I look forward to reading it!
Can we choose the character we whant
Yes!
Dear diary,
AHHHH! CRASH BOOM, the first day on this stranded island I saw the ruins of the plane my mind was completely blank. I did not know that we crashed landed I didn’t even know what was happening.The fist thing I thought to do was build a shelter then find some firewood
After I built my shelter I saw a whole village that was abandoned. but I saw some wheat eggs and milk that means I could get some food. I stole the cooking pan and went back to my shelter .I put the pot over the campfire and cracked the egg ,and I waited until it was fried I then made some bread with the wheat . I then had a whole breakfast with milk.
I started to learn the basics of being stranded on an island I went back to the plane and saw if there was some resources or useful items.I then had a Splendid idea I look in the room with all the baggage I found a lot of stuff luckily I found a electrician kit so I could build a plug system.I knew this would take long .
I finally completed the plug system so know if I’m lucky I could find a charger and maybe a phone or iPad to keep me entertained.I was even more lucky the plane had WiFi so I took the box and took to my shelter and plugged it in and I had WiFi.
Can I write it on the blog?
Of course, just make sure you have proof-read it before you post!
Hello miss Lee,I’ll send it like Holly.
Great!
Can I?
You can!
Dear Diary, ?
Today was crazy! I was sailing in a ship when suddenly this big storm came out of nowhere! It crashed the ship on an island leaving me shipwrecked. At that point, I started worrying. How do I make a good shelter? Where do I find food? Then I saw the ship and some logs. That gave me an idea. ?I went to work straight away. I turned the ship into a house and then used the logs and some palm leaves to make a bed. ? I then found some dry wood and made a fire. ?
As it got dark, I hoped that what I built was safe but it does seem to work!
See you tomorrow,
Vincent
Well done Vincent, you have written in the past tense and first person! You have also included some rhetorical questions to show your personal thoughts!
I like your sentence starter ‘As it got dark,’ good work!
Next time, add even more detail to describe what you could see around you.
My mom is sending it through an upload.
Dear Diary,
Today I was on a big island. But I was lonely. It turned night time, and then I heard something move in the bush. It was getting closer and closer until I knew it was a army of baby elephants. They seemed lost. So I took care of them. I called them Bob,Kevin and the last one was Peanut. He was the strongest out of all of them.
After that day they were hungry for food so I gave them coconuts they seemed to love them so i gave them more when the elephants were hungry. We found a shelter to sleep in and it was very clean we just gave it some stuff to add wich was a bed, sink and the very last one is a weapons to keep us protected if someone try’s to attack us.
A FEW YEARS LATER……
It was their birthday so I made them a coconut cake and suprised them with a beach to relax and have fun. So suddenly I suprised them and they loved it. They went to the beach straight away, and in the sea but they could see a big finn. It came up to the elephants. It came closer and closer and it was a friendly white shark which was looking for some food. So I gave the white shark some fish and the shark loved it.
Good work Karter!
You have written in the past tense and included lots of interesting details, well done!
Next time, remember diary entries are usually written about one day so we don’t usually write ‘a few years later’ in a diary.
Hello class, how are you all doing? By the way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIJNE!!!!
Here is my diary entry.
07/05/2020
Dear Diary,
This morning I woke up sleepily and found myself stranded on an incredible island. All around me the sea shone as clear as a crystal. The towering trees of the forest whispered to each other.
I felt sad that was being separated from the rest of my family and friends. I thought that I would never see them again.
I decided to collect some wood to make a roaring fire. After a while I had made an extraordinary campfire. When the evening came, I built an amazing shelter out of branches and leaves.
When night came I went to sleep in my shelter and had a wonder night.
Hello Sophie!
I love the alliteration to describe the trees!
Well done for writing in the first person and in the past tense with some adverbs!
Next time, describe what you could see in even more detail to help her reader really imagine it!
Dear Diary,
Today was incredibly exhausting and very CRAZY! I think I should calm down right now as I am getting a bit out of control even writing. Today I was on a ship travelling… well somewhere, on a ride when a wave crashed on the boat. I was about to go back home but a mighty storm whizzed above my head. I started to panic, before I could even say the word “Help!” the boat followed the wind and turned upside down violently. The storm went on like forever and finally deposited me shipwrecked on an island. I was so frightened I could just scream!?Then I noticed that I was safe, phew!
Well done Elisa!
You have written in past tense and in the first person, well done!
You have also included some of your thoughts and feelings!
Next time, include even more description about what you could see when you arrived at the island!
Hi Miss Lee! Here is my diary, hope you like it and hope you have a lovely weekend everyone ??
Dear Diary,
Today was such a NIGHTMARE. You see, there was a huge storm that hit the sea and STRANDED me in a strange island. Well, it wasn’t so bad because it then became sunny again ☀️. Curiously, I started to look around to find some materials to make my shelter and then soon night fell. I started to worry because I needed to think fast! I then made a campfire with my items that I’ve collected. Oh goodness it was chilly! I quickly got some palm leaves from the nearest tree and used it as a blanket. I did get some spare branches so maybe I could use that as the base? I thought to myself. After I’ve done that, I then grabbed another pile of leaves for my roof. Then, the sky darkend like a shattering glass of ink hit the concrete floor. Hopefully my shelter would last me but, I thought it will anyway. As I hear the wind blowing like a wolf, I then fell to sleep although I was a bit cold ?.
I will tell you more about my adventure tomorrow.
See you soon!
Clare
Hello Clare!
Well done for writing in the past tense and for including some great adverbs!
You have also included your thoughts and feelings!
Next time, try to add even more detailed descriptions about what you can see to help the reader to really imagine your experience!
Dear Diary,
Today was a nightmare,a storm came and destroyed the ship!
At first, [i thought] it was nice,warm and calm and that it would be just like a holiday BUT when it turned to night it was cold, scary and the wind was howling.I knew i had to find shelter FAST so i looked around the island looking for a cave that was not taken by bears or other dangerous animals like wolves or snakes [because they would kill me].Soon it got to night time so i sat on the floor and realised i had to get food and water quickly so i wouldn’t die
so i went gather up some food and water and went to sleep [FINALLY!!!]
Good work Rafael!
You have written in the first person and past tense! You have also included some interesting details, it sounds like a busy day on the island!
Next time, try to punctuate your sentences with commas or shorten your sentences as some of them are very long with no punctuation within and this can sometimes confuse your reader.
Hello Miss Lee ?
7th May 2020
Dear diary,
Today my boat sank quickly and I floated on a piece of wood. I finally arrived on an island, an oasis in the desert, so to speak. It’s beaches are golden and the sun reflects off the sea. The trees are tall and very green. As I slowly walked across the beach I saw the battered remains of the boat.
The island is great but I don’t have any food. So, I went spear fishing. Then I went into the forest where I found many tropical fruits and nuts. I also found a water spring. I made a shelter out of wood, leaves and moss all by myself.
At night I made a fire to keep animals away. I also saw the stars twinkling like diamonds in the night sky. There is just one problem. I feel very lonely.
Hello Mayowa ?
What a brilliant diary entry! You have written in the first person and included lots of detailed descriptions and extra information! Well done!
Next time, just make sure your writing is written in the same tense throughout to ensure cohesion. Some of your work is in the present tense and some in the past tense.
Dear Diary,
Yesterday night I fell deeply asleep and I do not know what happened to me next but I woke up on the shore of a huge island. I looked around and I saw the woods very near the rocky shore. Nobody was there a part nasty hungry seagulls. I saw coconut palms when I started exploring the woods, and surprisingly I found the ruins of a house. Hurray ? I thought! I looked inside the house and found both materials and tools to cut the trees, carve them and organise a good shelter. Nearby there was a rock with cobwebs in the shape of a cup, that I could use to drink coconut ? water. I also discovered a wooden box and opened it: inside I found more tools to help me finding food.
I was calm and I started to explore with the sharp tool to see if something would harm me. I went looking around for one hour, and then I found this volcano ? with a lava stream. I decided to look around the volcano to see if I could find a small pool of lava that I could use as a stove. Eventually I did find one and I went searching for wood with my tools, cut a tree down, and kept carving the wood until I finally made what I needed for my barbecue-like dinner. I went back to the house to take the tools for hunting and then put the box safe so nobody could take it. I started hunting for a seagull and it was a successful hunt. I am here writing and eating a roasted seagull!
Oh yes, I did come to the island with a box full of paper, without wetting it…
Hello Paolo!
Wow! I am so impressed that you managed to write so much! A fantastic diary entry with some good adjectives and adverbs! You have also written in the past tense and in the first person, well done!
Next time, see if you can add even more descriptions about what you could see to help the reader really imagine where you are!
Hi Miss Lee
Im gonna write my diary here.
Dear diary ?
I and my friends are on this island. ? I hope ? it was not gonna be so bad. We just needed to get some food ? build some shelter so we could sleep ? when it’s night. The island ? was pretty big so we could explore one day, but I decided to go explore myself It looked fine and I was pretty sure that I was gonna be fine.
Then I was in the woods and I found food! ? It was a coconut ? tree ?, I got a few a coconuts and scrambled back to the camp. I told the group that I got more food ? and It was coconuts. I decided to go back into the woods, It was pretty hard but I got wood just with my hands so it really hurt but I made an axe ? So I got more wood and while I was getting wood I found something that was good or not good, I did not know?? but It was a volcano! ?I went climbing ?♀️ up the volcano and saw some lava steam and rushed to the camp and it was night so I had to get their fast ? and It took me a few minutes and I finally got to the camp and went to sleep. ?
Dear Diary,
I was throwed by a plane onto the island. First when I saw the island I was shocked. I had to build a shelter with some wood and leafs because it was stormy.
The next day it was sunny and I went to the beach : the sand was green ! It was shocking . The sand was really . The water was nice. I had to start build a boat to set sail and go to earth. But how ? I do not have a nife to cut trees to make my boat so I can not set sail. I went to sleep in my shelter I did not sleep well because I slept on some soil. I was bored so I decided to climb the montain. It was so high up in the sky that it took me lots of time to climb it. From the top I could see an enormous boat. I tried to make them see by lighting a fire. I thought they had seen me but no they did not see me. I am still alone in this island. Alone with you, dear diary