Good morning, Year 5!
Can you believe today is the first day of May!
I am missing you all very much.
Today’s English focus: Published Writing
Today you can type up your finished piece of work to share with the class.
I am so proud to have a class of…
This will be your redraft after the feedback given to you on your draft writing. Please look back at any targets from before and apply these to your final versions. You may have had some targets from last week so ensure that you focus on improving on those today as well.
On this blog, I will give you some positive feedback and I would encourage everyone to read each other’s and offer some positive feedback.
If you prefer to handwrite this, you can upload a photo of your letter using the Homework Uploader but please ensure your name is at the top. First name only!
We look forward to reading your wonderful writing,
Mrs Avdiu & Ms Robertson
You can find a printable version of this blog here: Friday Week 2 English
Please consider the environment and only print this if necessary.
15 Frogmore road
Parsnip Town
Westminster
W1WPOG
30th April, 2020
Dear Pog,
How are you? I hope you remember me. I am the little girl you rescued. I was lost in that deep and dark forest with no hope of finding my way back home. Then I heard your gentle and friendly voice. At first I was nervous, but as soon as I saw you, I knew I could trust you.
I chose to write this letter because I wanted to thank you with all my heart. At the time you rescued me, my grandparents and I, were moving house. If you had not helped me get back in time, they could have left me stranded. Once again thank you so much for the kindness you showed to me. I hope to see you soon.
Yours Sincerely
Ayako
Thank you Ayako – fantastic variety of sentence starters. I especially liked ‘ At first’ and ‘At the time you rescued me’. Well done 🙂
Morning Yr 5 – Happy Friday! ?
I’m really looking forward to reading all of your wonderful writing!
Have a fantastic day!
Hello Everyone!
This is my letter to Pog:
15 Creature Street
Forest Town
W13W 56Y POG
Dear Pog,
How are you ?
Can you remember me I am the girl you rescued from the forest! You are my friend. I am a bit busy at the moment because we are packing our things to leave tomorrow. I really don’t want to leave you, but Grandad says it is necessary for me to go back home. I forgot to thank you the other night, and are the most wonderful creature I have ever met (and the only). I am so grateful to be alive thanks to you, you have a heart as huge as the Pacific Ocean. You are the most amazing creature I have ever met and you only you are my best friend.
Best Wishes
Girl
I hope you all enjoyed my letter to Pog
I hope you all have a lovely weekend and a lovely day ?
~Elena ?
Thank you Elena. I like the way you have put yourself in the character’s shoes. Next time, please check punctuation (questions marks, full stops) and try to include more than one paragraph. Planning each paragraph helps 🙂 I hope you have a lovely weekend too.
18 Sorrowful Road
Lonely Town
Hampstead
NW3 152
Friday 1st May 2020
Dear Pog,
Hi! it’s me, the girl you saved in the forest. I am writing to you just to say thank you for saving me in the forest of doom.I was lost and I really needed help.I’m a bit busy right now because we are packing up our things and are due to leave tomorrow afternoon. I am so sorry that I have to leave to leave and I really don’t want to but we had a family discussion and decided it was for the best. The second reason I am writing is to say a final goodbye. I will never forget you and I hope I will stay in your heart forever as well.
I think I might come to see you this afternoon , what do you say, for a last goodbye? Same place on that tree stump? I think I will, but definitely not at night because at that time the forest is as black as coal and it really gives me the creeps. It’s almost as if it is haunted. I don’t know how you live there by yourself with no friends at all. I think you are brilliant and that you are a great inspiration.
I can’t believe I am about to leave you! You are the most amazing creature I have ever met. You saved my life and what do I give you in return? I leave you so that you are alone again. I am kicking myself right now and I am so grief-stricken that I can’t even finish this letter.
I’ll see you this afternoon to say a sorry a goodbye and a thank you.I can’t express my thankfulness enough.
From, the girl you saved in the forest.
P.S. Thank you again.
Fantastic letter, Theo. I smiled when I read your made-up address (Sorrowful Road) 🙂 I am really impressed with your letter of gratitude. Well done
Happy Friday everyone! I hope that you are all well. I wasn’t entirely sure what we were doing but I figured that we were writing our whole letters to Pog. I hope that you like it:
Dear Pog,
How are you doing Pog? You might not know me or remember me, but I am the girl that you helped in the forest, a long time ago. I just wanted to say thanks for that because if you hadn’t then I might never had got home and I wouldn’t be writing this letter to you. I admit, I was afraid of you when I first met you but when I heard your gentle voice, I knew that I would be safe. You showed me your face and calmly showed me the way back home and I am very grateful of that. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.
I know that we haven’t seen each other in quite a while but I was hoping that we could maybe meet up again sometime. I know that you might be busy as things have changed a lot since we last met but hopefully you could make some time! I am also very busy at the moment but I would still love to meet up again. I have missed you, I know that we only met once and it was a very short time, but I can’t forget how kind you were to me, and we didn’t even know each other. You are such a kind person, I wish there were more people like that in the world. But anyways I hope that we can speak so and maybe get to know each other a little better!
From you friend
Elsa
Hi Elsa. Yes, that’s right. Fridays are an opportunity for you to publish your final written piece (not just the first paragraph like yesterday). It is similar to what we do in school 🙂
Thank you for sharing your wonderful letter. It’s great! Try to vary your sentence starters next time so that they don’t start with ‘I’ too much. Have a lovely weekend!
Norwall Cottage
Southwood N7D 4JE
England
23 June 2015
Dear Pog,
How are you? I hope you are well and safe.
I am writing to you as I have been ever so curious about your life. I hope you remember me. I’m that girl who got lost in the deep, dark forest last week. It was a terrifying experience! I was very frightened and thought I was going to be stuck there, in the middle of nowhere, for the whole long night. However, when I heard your gentle, soothing voice, my fear began to fade and I immediately felt relived.
Ever since that night I have been wondering how I can say my thank you and express my gratitude to you for taking care of me, in a moment of need. Therefore, from the bottom of my heart I thank you for for being such a caring, kind friend and leading me back home.
These are my two paragraphs I redrafted.
Thank you.
Maia?
Thank you Maia for this great letter written in an informal style. Have a lovely weekend!
Hello everyone, here is my finished letter to POG.
17 Black Horse Road
Ipswich
England
NB6 5LP
17th March 2016
Dear POG,
I hope that you’re well and I wanted to tell you about how grateful I am for leading me out of the woods. I was starting to think that I was going to be ripped apart by wolves or die of hunger but when I heard your kind, gentle voice I knew that everything was going to be alright.
At first I thought that it was an angel who was calling me so I was a bit afraid but when I saw you, something in my head told me that I could trust you. If you hadn’t found me, I would probably still be in the woods and nobody would know where I was. I am truly grateful.
Best wishes,
Zavan
Well done Zavan for including the thoughts of the character, including their fears. Great work! Perhaps your final paragraph could have been just a paragraph of gratitude – expressing in detail how thankful you are, while using figurative language? Have a lovely weekend 🙂
Green Cottage
Richmond
London UK
1st May Friday 2010
Dear Pog,
I am writing to you because I just want to say how thankful I am for rescuing me. Before you found me I was scared and alone and if it wasn’t for you I might still be there all by myself. I thought I would never see my family again. By the way do you have a family and if you do can I meet them?
Thanks for saving me I am living with my grandparents and we are moving houses, so we will probably never see each other again but we can send letters to each other. I love your personality because you were so kind to me that day in the forest. I was a bit nervous but since you were so furry I trusted you and I was right. I will never forget you.
Your Sincerely Claudia
Well done, Claudia. You have successfully written this in an informal style and you truly understand the characters well.
You missed a full stop after ‘thanks for saving me’ but otherwise your punctuation has improved, well done!
Have a wonderful weekend 🙂
43/A Chiltern Street
London
Dear Pog,
How are you?
I hope you are very well!
I am writing this letter to you to thank you for helping me when I was crying in the deep dark forest.
If you can remember, I was crying as I was lost.
I was very afraid that I could not find my way back home and that I would be left all alone in the cold.
Thanks to you I felt safe and I found my way back home to my family.
The other day I was wondering if you wanted to meet up somewhere so I can get to know you better.
Thank you for taking the time to read this letter.
Lots of love,
Tommaso
Thank you Tommaso! I really like the beginning of this letter as you really convey the feelings of the character. Your letter ended quite abruptly though. Is there any way you would change your final paragraph? Have a look at the other letters posted by your classmates 🙂
Hello everyone! I hope that you are all safe and well!
For today’s English task I wanted to share my letter…
By the way, I copied Theo’s address as I thought it was good.
Have a look:
18 Sorrowful Road
Lonely Town
Hampstead
NW3 152
Friday 1st May 2020
Dear Pog,
How are you ? I am fine. It has been a very long time since we met. I am extremely sad about that – I really want to see you again.
Thank you for helping me find my family – I really appreciate it.
I am lucky that you turned up, because if you didn’t, well, then I would be lost for eternity and I would never ever see my family again.
I am so thankful that you came across me! Thank you. My family were extremely happy that ‘I’ found them…
In my opinion, the forest was extremely spine-chilling . It was so dark and I swear that I could hear wolfs howling…
Anyways, you were a real hero. Thank you so much! It was very nice.
Best wishes,
Girl
REDRAFT A PARAGRAPH
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
I have decided to redraft the first paragraph.
Dear Pog,
How are you? I am fine. Ever since it was that horribly gloomy night, I was really curious on how you found me. I thought that I was sobbing quietly. Anyways, what were you doing before you saved me? To me, it looked like you were patrolling or guarding something. I wanted to say that you are a real hero and I am evermore thankful for your appearance.
Have a great day!
~ Nika ?
Well done Nika for reading blog posts by other children. It is great to ‘magpie’ ideas such as the address! 🙂
Well done for taking feedback on board in your redraft. Thank you for all your hard work on the blogs. Great use of varied punctuation. Have a lovely weekend!
Hi Miss Avdiu and Miss Robertson. Happy Friday this is my letter to Pog.
13 Red Stripes Road
Manchester
England
MC7
Friday 30th May 2011
Dear Pog,
I hope you are doing well, you may not remember me but I am the girl you saved in the woods. I just want say thank you for helping me out of the woods to get back to my family. Without you I probably would still be stuck in that scary wood. I have to admit, when I first saw you I was a little scared but when I heard your nice gentle voice, it started to calm me down. I hope we can meet up soon.
The night you brought me back I could not stop thinking about you. Again thank you so much for bringing me back to my family. You are my favourite creature and friend I have ever met. From the top and bottom of my heart, I thank you for saving me and bringing me back to my happy, caring and kind family. You are very caring and loving to lead me back home to my family.
The Girl
P.S. Thank you
Hello everyone here is my finished letter to Pog.
124 Walker Street
Cottespoe Town
Essex
TY4 HPOG
Thursday 30th April 2020
Dear Pog,
How are you doing? I hope everything is okay with you. We’re just unpacking our stuff and we’re a bit busy. I wrote today just to say thank you for saving me in the forest. I was very scared, until you came. I’m very grateful for what you have done for me. I almost forgot, I’m the girl you rescued in the forest that night.
I don’t know how I can repay you. I was thinking if you could come to my place and we can spend some time together and get to know each other more. Maybe we could also play lots of fun games like hide and seek or some board games and then have a delicious dinner with me and my family (by the way what’s your favourite food?). My dad is a very good cook so he can make you anything you want.
I really hope you will be able to make it. I’m really looking forward to seeing you, we’re going to have the best time ever! Thank you again, I really appreciate it.
From,
The girl you saved, Renee.
Thank you for reading my letter. Happy Friday!?
Well done Renee for posting your improved letter, it’s great!
You really tried your best to write this in an informal style and achieved this objective. Have a lovely weekend!
Good morning Mrs Avdiu and everyone else.
This is my final draft:
Lonesome Cottage
Lonesome Drive
Ipswich
Suffolk
England
SK47 5AD
August 15th 2004
Dear Pog,
I am writing to you to thank you for your heroic actions. Without you, no doubt, I would still be stuck in that horrible forest, probably freezing to death.
When I saw you, it was like a bright light shining through a dark, dark tunnel and I felt a glimmer of hope. You came towards me, your gentle soft voice warming the air around me and I felt safe, safer than I ever had been in my life. At that moment I knew straight away that you would save me from a sad, lonely death. And you did…
Although many years have passed since that fateful night, I just wanted you to know that you will always have a special place in my heart. Every time I think of you, I picture a knight in shining armour, who had the strength and courage to save me and reassure me in my hour of need.
Pog, you are my hero, I admire your kindness and ability to make me feel safe and I shall always compare my ways to yours in a bid to improve myself. I shall always be in your debt and forever be grateful.
My friend (as this is how my heart thinks of you), although we may never see each other again, from the bottom of my heart, I thank you. I promise that I will always honour your name and treasure the memory of our encounter.
You will never be forgotten.
My deepest gratitude,
Lavinia
Good morning, Lavinia.
‘Lonesome Drive’ – what a creative address!
This is a great letter but I had to squint a little and had some trouble reading it because I couldn’t see any paragraphs? Please ensure you hit the ‘enter’ button to create space for paragraphs 🙂
Thank you for all your hard work on the blogs. I like the way you signed off your letter ‘My deepest gratitude’.
Have a lovely weekend!
Happy Friday everyone. Hope you all are doing well here is my writing about Pog.?
356 Sydney road
England
LH5 STP
Wednesday 24th August 2015
Dear Pog,
How are you doing? hope you remember me from the forest. I just want to say thank you for helping me and making sure that I’m safe. Sorry that I can’t tell you this directly I am just a bit busy today packing because I will have to leave on Friday.
Anyway, we both haven’t seen each other for a while, so i reckon that we could meet at the tree stump at 3:30? it’s up to you because I’m available at 3:15-5:10, just to say one more goodbye because I might not see you again after I go.
From the little girl.?
Hope you have enjoyed reading my work and have a happy weekend bye!!?
Thank you Angieli! I like your letter and I can see you have made an effort to write this in an informal style with paragraphs. Perhaps in your last paragraph you could have gone into more detail about your character (the little girl) and what might have happened if she hadn’t been helped? I think this would have improved the ending of your letter. Have a lovely weekend! 🙂
Lumpkin Cottage
Bluebell Forest
Westminster
WP5 O9G
1st May 2020
Dear Pog,
I am writing to you to thank you for rescuing me in the deep, mysterious forest. My heart is so full of gratitude that I had to thank you.
On that cold night, I was despairing and loosing any hope I had to find my way back. When I heard you speak to me, I was frightened as I did not know that creatures like you lived in the forest. When you showed up, I was surprised by your furry appearance but by the way you looked at me, I knew I could trust you. When you led me to my grandparents’ house, how grateful I felt! My grandpa came and I felt sad for a while at the thought of leaving you.
Sadly, I will go back to London after tomorrow and so I would like to say goodbye. Could you meet me near my grandparents’ house? You can come at any time, but not at night as it makes me anxious. To make me aware of your presence, you can whistle and I’ll come.
I will never forget what you did for me, Pog. I hope you will stay happy and well during my absence. A creature like you deserves everlasting happiness. With many thanks and gratitude, I hope to see you tomorrow.
Best Wishes,
Jeanne
Your letter really moved me, Jeanne. I especially liked the final paragraph. Well done! Have a lovely weekend 🙂
14 MAY 1985
Dear Pog,
Its me, the girl you helped in the forest and I hope that you are ok! I just want to thank you more than ever for saving me because without you, I would still be stuck in that forest and even getting more lost trying to find my way back. If I would have still been stuck in that forest without food, I would end up like my mum now but be with her forever .At first I was quite afraid of you because you had a sword and staff in your hand so I thought that you were going to eat me but when I heard you and you were being really kind to me, I started to like you and even more when you helped me.
I decided to write this letter to you because I didn’t want you to think that I took that for granted and I thought it would be a kind thing. I was wandering if you would want to meet with me in the forest maybe at 4:45 pm next week depending on when you get this letter.
Hello everyone, this is my letter:
15 Frogmore road
Westminster
W1WPOG
30th April, 2020
Dear Pog,
How are you? If you don’t recognize me, I am the girl you helped in the dark end of the woods the day before. I was hoping for someone to help me to find my way home. I did not expect a beast, but when I heard, your gentle voice I trusted you. You have a so lovely heart.
I rote you this letter because I wanted to say a huge thank you! I feel sorry for you because you have no one to be with and I am moving house. If you did not help me find my way home, my grandparents wouldn’t care and they wouldn’t have asked people to be looking for me. They would had left me in the forest’s darkness.
I will always remember you! I will keep a space for you in my heart. I will try to come visit you sometimes. When I will be in my new house, I will send you my address so we could send to each other letters. I hope seeing you again.
From
Alissa,
I hope you liked my letter!!!! ??
Thank you Violette. Please can you proof read this to check for punctuation and errors. For example, you wrote ‘ you have a so lovely heart’ (does this make sense?)
I do like your last paragraph though and the way you express gratitude through the character’s perspective, well done:)
Dear Mrs Avdiu,
Here is my letter:
38 Broadley Terrace
London NW8 1AX
Dear Pog,
It’s me, the little girl you helped in the forest and I hope that you are ok!
I just want to thank you more than ever for saving me last week because without you, I would still be stuck in that dark and misty forest. Hopelessly, I could have gotten more lost trying to find my way back. If I was still stuck in that forest without food or warm cloths, I would have ended up like my mum now, and be with her forever. At first, I was quite afraid of you because you had a sharp sword and staff in your hand, so I thought that you were going to eat me in a gulp. When I heard your gentle voice and you were being really kind to me, I started to like you.
I decided to write this letter to you because I didn’t want you to think that I took your help for granted and I thought it would be a kind thing to do.
How about meeting me again in the forest? Maybe we could meet at 4:45 pm next week on Friday depending on when you get this letter.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely,
Marco
Thank you Marco for your fabulous letter. I really liked the way you made an effort to include adventurous vocabulary such as ‘misty’ and ‘hopelessly’. You also show a great understanding of the characters. Well done!
18 Frogmore Road
Orange town south
W162POG
Dear Pog,
I am writing to say thank you for helping me the other day, without you I would still be there stranded alone. How are you? I’ve just moved from the city into this spooky house. It’s not that bad but my brother doesn’t like it. I hope I could meet again with you soon?
We could do what you want since you rewarded me with such kindness the size of Saturn I might as well do a something similar. Are there anymore creatures like you?
I just thank you enough. Where do you live? Maybe I could come over one day if that’s okay with you? I’d love to meet all your friends and family, and then maybe you could meet my family. I haven’t told anyone about you, they wouldn’t believe me anyway.
See you soon!!
From your good friend Sara.
Sara, thank you for writing this – I really enjoyed reading it! You’ve successfully achieved the informal tone aspect of your letter and I really like the phrase ‘kindness the size of Saturn’. Well done!