Good morning Year 5!
Today’s English focus: Writing
If you haven’t already read the Prologue or Chapter 1 from Monday’s blog post, you can find the printable version here: POG PROLOGUE
Here is your written task for today (click on the image to make it larger):
Use your yellow Home Learning book to plan the paragraphs you will use in your letter.
Please then share your first paragraph with us here!
This is a letter. You can read some examples of informal letters for free here.
A good letter will have the following: letter writing checklist.
Use the above link as a checklist for your writing!
Please continue to practise and draft your writing in your yellow Home Learning books, then edit it checking spelling, punctuation and grammar.
Today is just a practise where you only need to share the first paragraph by posting it on the blog – you will continue writing your draft at home and tomorrow a new blog will be posted for you to share your finished pieces.
Do not write everything on today’s blog otherwise there will be no point for writing it again for tomorrow’s published writing pieces!
So your complete letter can be drafted in your yellow homework book, and then be published on the class blog tomorrow.
I look forward to seeing your amazing responses tomorrow (on my usual working day). Miss Coleman & Miss Carruthers will kindly respond to the blogs for today.
Mrs Avdiu
A printable version of this blog can be found here: Thursday Week 2 English
Please consider the environment and only print this if necessary.
Dear Ms. Coleman and Ms. Carruthers. I hope you are both well. Hi everyone in my class.
15 Frogmore road
Parsnip Town
Westminster
W1WPOG
30th April, 2020
Dear Pog,
How are you? I hope you remember me. I am the little girl you rescued. I was lost in that deep and dark forest with no hope of finding my way back home. Then I heard your gentle and friendly voice. At first I was nervous, but as soon as I saw you, I knew I could trust you.
PS: I have a hunch that the girl rescued by POG could be the mother in the first chapter 30 years later!
Good morning Ayako, I’m well thanks. I hope you and your family are too.
I like the opening paragraph of your letter. It was good to introduce yourself and to give a positive message to POG. Well done! I look forward to seeing the final version of the letter tomorrow.
P.S. It will be interesting to read on and see if your prediction is correct!
Hi everyone. This is my first paragraph to Pog.??
124 Walker Street
Cottespoe Town
Essex
TY4 HPOG
Thursday 30th April 2020
Dear Pog,
How are you doing? I hope everything is okay with you. We’re just unpacking our stuff and we’re a bit busy. I wrote today just to say thank you for saving me in the forest. I was very scared,until you came. I’m very grateful for what you have done. I don’t know how I can repay you. I was thinking, you could come to my place and we can spend time with together and get to know each other more.
I hope enjoyed reading my first paragraph to Pog.?
Stay safe everyone.?
Hi Renee,
Well done for setting your letter out clearly and for drafting your first paragraph.
T- Try not to include too much information in the first paragraph, this should be an introduction and you don’t want to repeat the same information later. Planning the content of each paragraph should help with this.
Hello everyone, he was the first paragraph of my letter to POG.
Black Horse Road
Ipswich
England
N6B 5LP
17 March 2016
Dear POG,
I hope you’re well and I wanted to tell you about how grateful I am for showing me out of the woods. I thought I was going to be ripped apart by wolves or starve to death but when I heard your kind, gentle voice I knew that everything was going to be alright.
Hello Zavan,
That’s a good, concise opening paragraph that explains the reason you are writing. I like the contract of the scary situation with the positive adjectives describing POG.
Dear Pog,
Thank you for helping me in the forest. If you weren’t there I would probably be stuck. I am thanking you because your were scared to come up to me and introduce your- self to me because you haven’t seen any humans in a year . That was so brave of you. When you came up to me I was scared and amazed. I felt amazed because a miracle had came, that was you. Your probably thinking why I was scared because I had never seen a creature like you before.
Good morning Olivia, thank you for sharing your great ideas. It’s clear that you are writing to thank POG.
T-Contractions You are becomes you’re (not your)
T-Try to group ideas together-all the reasons you were scared and then all the positive feelings about POG
Hello everyone this is my letter I hope you enjoy it
Dear Pog I hope you are well thank you very much for helping me find my way back home, I appreciate your kindness. I would be stuck in the wood for the whole night if it weren’t for you, I hope you remember me and have a lovely day I hope I see you soon.
Hello Mathilde,
I did enjoy your letter but remember that this is only the first paragraph, introducing the main letter. It’s good that you have been polite to Pog and explained why you are writing but you’ve also finished the paragraph as if it is the end of the letter.
T-Please read you work back and insert punctuation, particularly in the first few sentences.
Hello all, I hope that you are all enjoying your day so far. I also agree with Ayako that the girl is the mother in chapter 1. Here is my first paragraph for the letter, I hope that you like it:
Dear Pog,
How are you doing Pog? You might not know me or remember me, but I am the girl you helped in the Forest a ,one time ago. I just wanted to say thanks for that because if you hadn’t I might not of ever gotten home and I wouldn’t be writing this letter to you. I admit, I was afraid of you when I first met you but when I heard your gentle voice, I knew that you I would be safe. You showed me your face and calmly showed me the way back to my home and I am very grateful of that. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.
Hello Elsa, I’m interested to see if the prediction made by you and Ayako is correct.
I’m pleased that you have been so positive about Pog and written such a polite opening paragraph.
T-Try to use standard English, not slang. Please review the sentence below:
I just wanted to say thanks for that because if you hadn’t I might not of ever gotten home and I wouldn’t be writing this letter to you.
Hello Everyone!!!
I hope you are all well and safe. I hope you are all having a very nice day and a fantastic week ?
For today’s writing task I have come up with this interesting letter to Pog. ?
15 Creature Street
Forest Town
Westminster
W13W 56Y POG
Dear Pog,
How are you ?
Remember me, I am the girl you rescued from the forest. You are my friend. ?
I am a bit busy at the moment because we are packing up our things to leave tomorrow. ?
I really do not want to leave you but my grandad says it is necessary for me to go back home. I forgot to thank you for other night, you are the most wonderful creature that I have met ( and the only). I am so grateful to be alive because of you!
I hope you all liked a bit of my letter to Pog!!!
I hope you are all safe and having an amazing week 🙂
~Elena??
Hello Elena,
I agree, this is an interesting first paragraph for your letter.
T-Emojis are usually only used in texts or emails, not letters so remember not to include these in your final draft.
Hi everyone! This is one of my paragraphs.
14 May 1985
Dear Pog,
I hope that you are well! I just want to thank you more than ever for saving me because without you, I would maybe still be stuck in that dark and gloomy forest on my own looking for food or getting even more lost trying to find my way back. At first, I was quite afraid of you because you had a staff and sword in your hand but when you helped me and smiled, I started to like you because I thought you were a kind creature.
Hi Marco,
I like the way you have included some detail from the text such as the staff and sword. You’ve written some varied sentences that are interesting to read
T- Can you review the phrase, ‘I would maybe still be stuck’ so it reads/ flows better? I think you need to choose a different word to replace ‘maybe’.
Hello everyone, Miss Coleman, Miss Carruthers,
Here is my letter:
12 Marylebone Street
W1WPOG – London
30 April, 2020
Dear POG,
How are you? ?or ☹
My name is Alisia, I am the girl with dark hair, the one who was lost in the woods the other day.
I would like to thank you very much for helping me find my way back home. You have been very nice with me and I can say, you have an extremely kind heart.
I feel very sorry for you because you have no one to be with and you must be very lonely. If you need someone to be with you and to become your friend, you can call me anytime!! ?? It would be a pleasure!
From Alisia ?
I hope you like my letter!!!!
Thank you Violette, this is a good short letter but for your final piece of writing you’ll need to develop this into a full letter.
T-Organise your ideas into different paragraphs and add detail for your final letter.
Hello everyone
I hope you are all doing well. This is the first part of my letter.
Norwall Cottage
Southwood N7D 4JE
England
23 June 2015
Dear Pog,
How are you? I hope you are well and safe.
I have been ever so curious about your life. I hope you remember me. I’m that girl who got lost in the deep, dark forest last week. I was very frightened and thought I was going to be stuck there for the whole night. However, when I heard your gentle, soothing voice my fear began to sink and I immediately felt safe.
I am still working on the rest of this letter.
Have a nice day.
Maia?
Hello Maia,
This is a good start and it’s important to introduce yourself in case Pog does not remember you.
T-You have used some excellent description but could you review the use of ‘sink’ and think of another ways of describing this as sinking cold mean it is becoming worse?
Hello everyone I hope you are all well, have a great day!
Here is my first paragraph,enjoy:
Lonesome Cottage
Lonesome Drive
Ipswich
Suffolk
England
SK47 JR5
August 15th 2003
Dear Pog,
I am writing to you to thank you for your heroic actions. Without you, no doubt, I would still be stuck in that horrible forest, probably freezing to death.
When I saw you, it was like a bright light shining through a dark, dark tunnel and I felt a glimmer of hope. You came towards me, your gentle soft voice warming the air around me and I felt safe, safer than I ever had been in my life. At that moment I knew straight away that you would save me from a sad, lonely death. And you did…
Hello Lavinia,
A wonderful start to your letter. I like the contrast of light and dark to demonstrate the different feelings. Good address too!
Hello Miss Coleman, in one of the other blogs that I did earlier I also predicted that the mum in chapter 1 was the girl in the prologue like Ayako did and I think this will have something to do with the story.
Thanks Zavan, I’m looking forward to finding out if you are all correct!
Yes, I remember your earlier predictions Zavan – lets see if you are right?
Hi everyone here is my paragraph about Pog?
356 Sydney Road
England
LH5 STP
Wednesday 24th August 2015
Dear Pog,
How are you doing? hopefully you know who I am. I just want to say thank you for protecting and helping with me, i am very thankful. Maybe you can come over to my place and get to know each other a little bit more. Hopefully i can see you soon.
Hope you enjoyed reading my paragraph?
Hi Angieli,
Thank you for your paragraph, its good that you have have introduced yourself and explained that you are writing to say thank you.
T-This is only the introduction so you don’t need to end the paragraph in the same way as you end the whole letter (keep that for the conclusion)
T-Check punctuation, especially capital letters
HI Miss Colman,
I hope that you are doing well!!!?
This is my first paragraph of my letter!?
Dear POG,
I am writing to you because I just wanted to say thank you
for what you did in the forest! If you hadn’t guided me back
home, I would of probably not gotten back. If it wasn’t for
your bravery I would still be in the forest hoping that somebody
would come and help me!
Hi Gabriella,
I am well thank you. I hope you are too.
This is a good first paragraph and I’m pleased you have explained why you are writing but you may need to remind Pog who you are.
T-Try to use standard English, not slang. Please review the sentence below:
If you hadn’t guided me back
home, I would of probably not gotten back.
Hi Miss Coleman. This is what I have for todays English work.
13 Red Stripes Road
Manchester
England
MC7
Friday 30th May 2011
Dear Pog, I hope you are doing well, you may not remember me but I am the girl you found in the woods. I just want to say thank you for helping me out of the woods to get back to my family. Without you I probably would still be lost in the scary woods. I have to admit, when I first saw you I was a little scared but once I heard that gentle voice of yours you made me feel calm. I wish we could meet up more often but sadly we can’t.
Hi Dylan,
Thank you for sharing your first paragraph. You have clearly explained why you are writing.
T-Remember to start a new line after the greeting e.g.
Dear Pog,
I hope you are doing well.
18 Sorrowful Road
Lonely Town
Hampstead
NW3 152
Wednesday 18th May 2015
Dear Pog,
Hey! It’s me the girl you saved in the forest.I am writing to you just to say thanks for saving me back there in the forest of doom.I was lost and I really needed help.I’m a bit busy right now because we are packing up our things and we are due to leave tomorrow afternoon.I am so sorry that I have to leave and I really don’t want to but we had a family discussion and we decided it was for the best. The second reason I am writing is to say a final goodbye. I will never forget you and I hope I will stay in your heart forever as well.
Hi Theo,
Thanks for your well structured letter opening paragraph-I like the creative address and that you have included more than one reason for writing.
T- Hey! is very informal for a letter and more appropriate for a text. can you think of a more formal way of starting your first paragraph please?
17, Valetta Road,
London. UK.
30th April, 2020
Dearest Pog,
I hope you’re well. And I hope you still remember me from when you bravely saved my life in the forest.
You really were a ‘life saver’ that terrifying night… I mean, how can I ever repay you for your kindness?
Maybe if I hadn’t ran into you I wouldn’t have caused such grief. I don’t know, but please let me repay in some way. I was in so much danger and I don’t think I would’ve survived without you.
I guess I’m writing to you to say “thank you so much Pog!”
Good afternoon Iggy,
Thank you for sending through the beginning of your letter. Its good you have reminded Pog who you are.
T-Try to follow sentences on from one anther so they form a paragraph/ leave a line when you move onto a new topic for the next paragraph.
T-check your punctuation for the direct speech. This explanation might help: https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/clips/zvftsbk
Dear Pog,
I am writing to tell you thank you for helping me the other day, without you I would still be there. Are you sure you’re not lonely? I’ve just moved from the city into this spooky house. It’s not that bad but my brother doesn’t like it. I hope I could meet again with you soon if that’s okay with you?
We could play some games or we could do what you want since you rewarded me with such kindness I might as well do the same thing back. Are there anymore creatures like you? Also where do you live see you soon!!??
From your good friend Penny
Hello Sara,
I have enjoyed reading your letter but remember that this is only the first paragraph, introducing the main letter. It’s good that you have been polite to Pog and explained why you are writing but you’ve also finished as if it is the end of the letter. Remember, the final letter is published in the Friday blog. This is just a draft of your first paragraph.
T-Please read you work back and insert punctuation, particularly in the last few sentences.